Stansted Airport
Being poor and stingy, I once had to spend the night in Stansted Airport before my connecting flight home the next morning.

Hellish. Freezing, noisy, nothing open except the main doors through which an icy wind howled, full of freaks and cleaners and cleaners who were freaks.

That was not the ignominy, no. Worst of all was the fact that the only thing I could find to keep myself warm was a copy of the Daily Mail. The Daily feckin' Mail. How can anyone sleep comfortably wrapped in that?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 30 May 2008, 11:51, 15 replies)

OI!
I live ten mins from that "Hellish" place.
*frowns*
I'm neither a freak, nor a cleaner.

If I'd've known, you would have been welcome to a warm bed.
( Cawl, Fri 30 May 2008, 11:53, closed)

The best way to keep warm with the Daily Mail
would have been to set fire to it.

At worst you'd have spent the night in a warm police cell.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 30 May 2008, 11:53, closed)

@Kaol
I'm quite sure your offers of a bed would come with strings attached. Besides it was in 1999 or so, so you would've been about 8 years old.

@K2k6 - dammit! I should've thought of that. I'll do that next time.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 30 May 2008, 11:56, closed)

Oh...
I was 13.
And not living that near then.

But, if you want a warm bed, and you want me to attach strings to you, that's fine.
( Cawl, Fri 30 May 2008, 11:59, closed)

The trick is
to read it, believe everything it says, and work yourself up into a apoplexy of senseless rage and indignation. Then you go and shout the cleaners who are no doubt immigrants coming over here, stealing our jobs, sleeping with our women and putting up the price of our petrol while kidnapping Madeline and arranging the murder of Lady Di.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:00, closed)

@al
of course! The righteous and burning rage of middle class, middle England!
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:04, closed)

I like to warm myself
on it every evening before I go to bed to have silent unsatisfying sex with my girlfriend in the missionary position.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:07, closed)

^
...dad?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:10, closed)

There's some sick sick joke
about incest there... But I don't have the bollocks to say it. :(
(Belgaer is, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:11, closed)

Hmmm
I feel a bit dirty now.

But only a bit.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:15, closed)

Question?
Why can't we click I like it to people's replies. Althegeordie just made me cackle in a rather undignified fashion in my silent office. :-)

Also, why is it when stuck on a train with NOTHING to read that the only available paper is the Daily Mail? I've been known to accost people buying it in queues....
(Princessbadger, Fri 30 May 2008, 13:14, closed)

ahhthangyouaahthangyouvermuch
I'll be here all week.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 May 2008, 13:59, closed)

But
All week...it's Friday? :-p
(Princessbadger, Fri 30 May 2008, 14:09, closed)

Sorry
with my b3ta QOTW obsession my week now runs from an arbitrary point on Thursday through to an equally arbitrary point the following Thursday.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 May 2008, 15:27, closed)

I too
have slept at Stanstead, although I didn't think it was so bad.

I ended up curling up behind a pillar wrapped in a coat and with a bag for a pillow. Until 6 in the morning, that is, when a geriatric cleaner whacked me in the head with his broom.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Sat 31 May 2008, 1:05, closed)