First ever train journey in London.
Back in the early 90s, my friend and I caught the train to go to a bonfire night party. My friend sat next to the window while I had the aisle seat. The carriage we were in had about six people dotted about including a rough looking crow who sat at the other end of the carriage, facing us and swigging from her can of spesh.

As soon as the crow saw me, she stood up, caned right over to the other aisle seat next to me and sat sideways so that she was facing my right hand side. The stench was incredible: amonia and shit wafting from her crotch as she sat with her legs open, stale sweat, smoke and damp from the rest of her. Face black with dirt, hair matted and teeth like discarded matchsticks. She leaned over, punched me in the arm, spat warm green phlegm on my face that preceeded to fall down at glacial speed and started to shout at me. The only words I could decipher were fxxx and cxxx.

The spitting, punching and ranting lasted 15 minutes. Being mildly concerned for my safety, I looked sideways at my mate who had become fixated with the rubber seal on the window. The remaining occupants of the carriage had buggered off as soon as the first 'fxxx' was heard. The train stopped at Brixton and the crow got off, not without a final punch, spit and fxxx to my face. She staggered off the train and whilst gaining momentum for a final two-fingered gesture at me, tripped herself up and fell like a sack of shit on the platform. Fair play though she still kept her half empty spesh can upright in her hand.

Surprisingly I didn't snog anyone that night. Can't think why.
( pottybeaver is neither a potty nor a beaver, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 21:25, 1 reply)

And this, people...
... is why we ban [open] alcohol on public transport.

Also why we should allow the carrying of swords in public. Not as clumsy or random as a firearm- a weapon from a more civilised age.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 22:49, closed)