Bouncer
I was sitting in the pub garden one summer evening, 17 years old, drinking a can which I had bought at the off licence and smoking a joint. Due to some recent "bovver", the pub had newly employed a bouncer who wandered over to me...

Bouncer: "Get out!"
Me: "Why?"
Bouncer: "You're under age"
Me: "I'm 18"
Bouncer "Oh"

*brief pause*

Bouncer: "Get out!"
Me: "Why?"
Brouncer (pointing to the can next to me): "Bringing your own drink here"
Me: "It's not mine"
Bouncer "Oh"

*brief pause*

Bouncer: "Get out!"
Me: "Why?"
Bouncer (pointing at my joint): "That"
Me: "It's just a roll-up"
Bouncer "Oh"

He walked away!
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 23:10, 3 replies)

a million points!
for cheekily standing your ground with a tangled web of lies
(Roopy all is not what it seams, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 23:29, closed)

hmmm...
Clearly didn't graduate top of his gorilla-class. You don't need to provide any reason for someone to vacate your premises. All he needed to do, was ask you to leave, and give you reasonable time to do so; as any fule kno.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:26, closed)

I don't recall a bouncer backing down ever
having asked me to leave apart from this one geezer who backed down not once, not twice but three times. He was built like a brick shithouse, he had a gruff voice, perhaps he needed to attend "Assertiveness Training" to complete his qualification.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:16, closed)