Not limited to, but including
- Couple screwing up against the bar while it was four deep
- Man standing in doorway and calmly pissing into his own beige slacks
- Being waylaid by someone who claimed to be Jimmy Paige (bizarrely enough - not him) who then proceeded to try and fight anyone attempting to leave the bar
- Someone doing the rounds selling bacon. Christ only knows.
- Man who was previously engaged in conversation pulling out penis then demanding to know if anyone thought it was small (N. Scotland)
- Man who was previously engaged in conversation pulling out penis then demanding to know if anyone thought it was small (Richmond, London)
- Thrown out of an Irish Pub for singing "Farewell Spanish Ladies" with some local soak - wife was fucking mortified and didn't speak to me for a day
- Drinking beer from a milk carton served through a steel grate in a Shebeen in what looked like the dressing room from Zulu (Johannesburg) while watching a fat white bloke dancing [non-sexual]
- Had an in-depth explanation of the Rising-Sun over Crucifix tattoo from an old pisshead - apparently it's a jail tat to indicate you're quite partial to a bit of H every now and again
- Same pub; had a thorough description and reccomendation to visit a private porn cinema in Howard St., Glasgow, where apparently "ye need an umbrella there's that much jizz in the air" - lovely


I drink in some classy places
(mymilkshakebringsallthemongstotheyard poison hearts, poison minds - joining hate, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 23:56, 1 reply)

bacon sellers:
Please kill them on sight, or at least rough them up a bit. You see, what they are probably doing is this: Going to a nearby supermarket (like the one I used to work at); stealing bacon. Lots of it. Said bacon is then taken into pubs such as the one next door and sold on the cheap.

Result: The criminal profits, the real customers who actually wanted bacon can't get any becasue of the now-empty shelves, the understaffed-staff get seven kinds of flak becasue they can't be in several places at once to stop all shoplifting. But then, an evil employer gets ripped off, so it's not all bad.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:16, closed)