Sex on the beach
Around 10 years ago, I worked with a cracking bunch of people, and we'd sometimes enjoy a drink or three either at lunchtime or after work. One night the "quick pint" has inevitably turned into the many quick pints, it's got to nine-ish, none of us have gone home or eaten yet, we're all fairly fucked.

Someone - and it could have been me, I don't know - suggested Karaoke. Now, like kebabs and stealing traffic cones, this is one activity that should never be undertaken whilst sober, but when drunk seems like a winner.

We all stagger to a nearby pub - it's a week night, and we virtually double the number of drinkers in there when we burst through the doors. The poor sods there were the ones who *would* do Karaoke sober, and probably had banked on getting two or three goes each until our arrival. None of us had ever been in this pub before - it was one of those quiet ones slightly out of the centre of town where you imagine there are about 20 regulars and always have been. God knows what they made of us.

One of my colleagues was called Graham; very intelligent man indeed, and very Scottish. If you didn't know Graham his combination of somewhat belligerent intelligence and of course the accent straight from "Trainspotting" might appear threatening, although he's really a big softie.

I remember at the end of the night him deciding to sing "Sex on the Beach". Graham can't sing, in fact by this stage he could hardly stand. Picture Begbie (without the 'tash) lurching around on stage, staring into the crowd as if he was going to glass any fucker who laughed at him, completely ignoring the lyrics on the prompt, and just growling "Sex on the Beach" every now and then in an incomprehensible Scots brogue. In front of the petrified locals. In Suffolk.

It's a mental image I have never forgotten. What made it worse was the fact that afterwards one of the locals got up to sing and they were really good, so the poor sods had their night invaded by beer monsters. On a Wednesday evening.

Happy days...happy days.
( I_Was_Mordred, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 1:11, 1 reply)

Sex on the Beach!
This made me laugh!...
As to the others, they knew the risks..
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:21, closed)