black midget
I managed a lot of pubs in the 90's, and one fine esatablishment in Kings Cross strikes a real chord for me....Being a Kings Cross pub, we had to perfrom regular toilet checks to stop the hoardes of junkies booting up in our conveniences; in the midst of one such check, i realised that the cubicle in the womens lavvy had been occupied for quite some time; a quick shufty under the door revealed a syringe, lemon and other heroin-user paraphenalia. I banged on the door but to no avail, so i called the cops. Railway police turn up and the situation is explained. By now there is me and four Rail cops in a very small ladies toilet....After much cajoling they get the occupant to open up; turns out that it's a transexual waiting for his snippy op; so the cops arrest him and have a good laugh saying that despite being womanish (and having two thirds 'lady bits') this dude will get sent to a mans pris(on) cos he's down as a male on his birth cert...ANYWAY...while this is going on I notice that the other cubicle has also been locked for quite some time. I point this out to the rozzers who take a peek over the top of the door. "Come on out!" they say...
And that's when a tiny black midget bloke sheepishly comes out of the bog...Fuck me dead! He's wearing a false plaster cast on his arm, which the cops removed to find a large swag of cash and several balloons of smack...and so off they all go to the copshop...BLIMEY! What a night...Length? Black dwarf was about four inches...True story...honest
(catflap I went out with Nicholas Parsons, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 1:12, 2 replies)

song
Why am I singing the words "Black Midget" to the tune of Black Velvet by Alannah Miles?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:09, closed)

Arcade Fire
"Black Mirror"

Wonder how many more of these there are to be had?
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 9:41, closed)