Hooray for pubs !
Being fond of the naughty falling down water I like to spend numerous evenings in the pub, where there are a few crazies...

All Have been given nicknames because I really don’t wanna know them.

Mr Tweed – Some 6’4” skinny guy with glasses and an insane massive curly quiff. He always sits alone in booths designed for 6 people with his vile tweed jacket drinking halfs with a carrier bag full of other carrier bags.

Shuffles2 – This guy is another crazy carrier bag carrier. He has a bit of a stoop when he shuffles about the place with all the speed of half a maggot. Often times he spends mooching around the beer garden looking for loose change dropped and drinking the dregs that people have left there. When he has enough loose change from the streets, he buys a plate of baked beans from the bar and then pulls up a stool thing in the middle of the pathway out of the kitchen where he eats them noisily.
One time he had a box of cigarettes and was holding them out infront of him and asking everyone of the wanted to buy them or had lost them – he didn’t come to our group tho, so dunno what he was really saying.

Lawrence – Named for the nonce interior decorator, Lawrence Llwelyn Bowen (sp). This guy is awesome. He’s pretty old and wears one of those dirty looking light brown flasher macs. Hes always getting up to wave at no-one in particular or re-arrange the chairs and tabels - even ones hes not sitting at. He also eats left over food from other peoples tables.

Monkey – This guy looks almost identical to the lead character from Monkey magic – that Japanese tale thing that was on Channel4 late at night ages ago. The only thing different about them is one is cool (the Japanese character) and the other is immensely annoying is about 50 and has a tonsure (one of those shaved crown monk’s haircuts only his is because of balding) He has tried to talk to us before, and ALWAYS minges on about the price of ale, the ales they have on tap, the ales that they have had before and indeed how to drink ales and more random bollocks about fucking ale! When not boring the shit out of people on the subject of Ale, its his allotment or the fact that pubs close at 11ish (which according to him is an utter outrage) He will stare at anyone in the seats by the fire untill they leave, then he'll take off most of his clothes and sit there with 3 pints of ale in his dirty vest.

Edited for shittiness and length
(FlangeCat, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:12, 3 replies)

I just don't have the concentration span...
Synopsis?
( rofl harris, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:28, closed)

Something happened
and it was funny at the time, but not now.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:55, closed)

please do
apologise for length. christ that was a waste of time
(Pingoo likes cheese, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:12, closed)