Reminds me of the time my 2IC's gf was making coffee at our place of work.

She asked of him "How does he take it?"

"Black."

"Like his women?" [cue: giggles from her.]

2IC just about shit himself. My girly was blacker than the ace of spades - a lovely African young woman - and his lady didn't know.

2IC and his girly had a short, sharp conversation, followed by lots of apologies including the phrases "avoid disciplinary action" and similar.

Internally? I was laughing my tits off, as did my dear friend. It was black humour.
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Sat 28 Sep 2013, 14:33, 1 reply)

I misjudged some banter
I had been working in the best job I've ever had, for about four years. My friend Will was always quick to take the piss, but he didn't take it so well. At the time of this story he was going out with a black girl named Donna, who worked at our West Bromwich office. Will regularly referred to her as a nigger.

Anyway, he'd come into my office (I was in charge of goods-inwards and there were four people who worked under me), and he picked up a rubber stamp and started attacking Gary with it, saying "I've always wanted to stamp you Gary!"

Gary intentionally misunderstood Will, and started accusing him of bullying, saying that stamping on him was clearly unacceptable and likely to result in disciplinary action for Will.

I interjected at this point and claimed that Will was only picking on Gary because he was a wog (Gary is white).

"What are you on about?", said Will, "I'm going out with Donna!"

"What's that Will?" said I, "Are you saying that Donna's a wog?"

Will went bright fucking red and then Gary asked him if he wanted a spade to dig himself in any deeper.

I replied that he didn't need one as he was already going out with one.

Will very nearly punched me, and complained to the management. Luckily the manager was a piss-taking pill-muncher so he wasn't personally affronted, but I did think I was going to lose my job.

I made a counter-claim against Will, pretending I'd been upset about spastic jokes he'd made, but the long and the short of it was that I decided to quit my job and go and live in Cardiff where I could take massive drugs instead.
(Eukanuba, Sat 28 Sep 2013, 18:35, closed)

Massive drugs?
They're the worst.

You need lots of water to wash them down.
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Sun 29 Sep 2013, 13:47, closed)