Ages ago I was working on a farm near Reading, milking the pigs or some shit, and some bloke who could barely string two words together pulled up in a shittly old truck and offered to "tar" the dirt road for 100 pounds.

It sounded too stupid to be real, so I told him to fuck off. I mean, who the fuck randomly drives around with a load of hot bitumen, cold calling on farms to try and sell the shit? Where the fuck would they get it from? And why was this inbred allowed to have a fucking truck licence in the first place?

When I retold the story over dinner, the Farmer assured me that there is indeed a special type of person that drives around doing just exactly that, selling stolen tar and gravel. I thought it was an urban myth, but I've witnessed it first hand.

Fucking strange thing to try and offload, I could imagine them selling stolen ciggies and booze, but fucking stolen roadbase?

It must be some backward rite of passage to offload your first tonne of shitty gravel.
( Ken Oath, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 12:32, 1 reply)

Tarmac yer drive?
is pretty much a chat up line for these boys.
Yes it's real alright.
These pikeys are completely indistinguishable from each other and almost a parody of themselves. That said, it really doesn't pay to get on the wrong side of them. I once witnessed a huge brawl break out when about 40 families were being evicted from a farmer's field and two tried to go through the gate at the same time.The poor local cops stood back and watched car after uninsured car empty of huge scarred bare knuckle fighters, who soon got down to some serious action. We tired of watching and took the tractor back to the farm. They started shooting about 5 minutes later.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 3:26, closed)