Sexy copper
So, I'm out in the car. My cousin, who was about 10 at the time, was sucking me off as I was "babysitting" (for want of a better expression) that day.

Needless to say, as 10-year-olds tend to, she's egging me on to come in her mouth. We got to the vinegar strokes along a stretch of dual carriageway before I had to ease off as traffic was building up ahead. Anyway, with the urge to come fading, the blue flashing lights appeared in my mirror and I get pulled over.

The usual script gets read out, about how "dangerous" it is etc etc... "and how would you feel if your daughter there got pregnant?" (To be fair, she does look like she could be.)

Automatically I said "she's not my daughter". Before I could finish my sentence with "she's my cousin", this little twat of a copper said "oh right, you're a paedo, can I join in?".

Needless to say, this did not sit well with me, and the red mist descended. By the time his colleague had got out of the car and held me back, Plod was on the floor, me having repeatedly punched him in the sphincter. He had a japs eye, a split anus and a bloody good time.

Backup arrived, and I retrieved my phone from my pocket, stopped it recording and played the recording back to the uniforms who had arrived. They let me go as soon as they heard it.

Needless to say, Plod whined to the CPS and I got a summons for a. noncing, and b. raping a police officer. It gets to court. The recording gets played - at which point the CPS withdraw their case.

I get the Jimmy Saville award for bravery, the copper gets ballsacked.
( A Rory Borealis here under duress, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 21:32, 2 replies)

I believe this to be a fair and accurate account of events.

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 22:19, closed)

hah!
"YOUR ALL GAY" lol!
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 22:36, closed)