it's been a looooong time
since i even thought about the bedshitter. but this question just reminded me of the last time i saw him, a couple of months after we broke up.

i had just got home after a night out when he rang me and asked me to go over to his place in camden. i hadn't been drinking that night, so i decided to drive over. i knew his new german red cagoule wearing girlfriend had already moved in with him after a couple of weeks dating. but he didn't know that i knew that.

so he was fluttering around the flat, trying to stop me from going into the bathroom or the bedroom and seeing all her stuff, and being supernice to me. and i was just looking at him, realising how much of a relief it had been not to listen to his self-pitying shit for past couple of months and wondering how i ever managed to go there.

after a while, he began to slag off the new girlfriend and was telling me how much he missed me. then he leaned over and tried to shove his rubbery little cock in my mouth (his idea of foreplay). three years of being cheated on and lied to and even hit from time to time (and did i ever mention he shat the bed?) - and i could finally see through the emotional blackmail to the bullshit underneath.

i pulled my head away from his crotch in disgust. i stood up. i told him in a very clear voice that he was pathetic. and i walked out. leaving his mouth as wide open as if he were trying to deepthroat himself.

it would have been good enough as it was. but it was only made better when he chased me across the car park in his boxer shorts, semi flopping unnecessarily out of the slit, begging me at the top of his drunken voice "just to put it in for a minute".....



of course i should have quit long before this point. i was young, i needed the money. i'd never go there now! the morals of the story are: never go out with your boss when you share an office. never go out with anyone you feel sorry for, however funny and intelligent they might be sometimes. and never, ever, ever go out with anyone who is incontinent past the age of 12 months!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 May 2008, 22:07, 7 replies)

*clickclickclick*
Just when I thought stories about him couldn't get any worse...

*laughs*

"just put it in for a minute" - priceless!

Well done you!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 22 May 2008, 22:16, closed)

*pfffffft*
I can see him running after you all too clearly, you never fail to make me *click*. Good on you for not going back! *clinks cocktail glass*
( Maladicta, Thu 22 May 2008, 22:48, closed)

More clicky than Wee Click McClick on National Clicky Day...
That's very amusing, albeit worrying in the extreme. Some peoples exploitatitive view of foreplay as an enforced act is worrisome in the extreme!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 22 May 2008, 23:13, closed)

Clickety click
What an utter maggot! Still, you live and learn.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 23 May 2008, 9:37, closed)

We've all had a wrong-un.
You just seem to have bagged yourself a VERY wrong-un.

Ah well, it's all character building.
( girlinthehole, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:29, closed)

I'm just trying to imagine
how fucked up I would have to be to try and put my cock in an unwilling ex girlfriends mouth as a form of foreplay.

I nearly suffered a small hernia at the thought of him running across a car park with his semi falling out.

*click*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 May 2008, 13:01, closed)

Haha
Another class story from ms swipe
( DumbMonkey The penis mightier than the sword, Wed 28 May 2008, 18:26, closed)