Bugs
I have to confess a truly evil and regretable act ...

First year Uni, student halls, having ticked off all the usual glass cock undergrad japes involving fire extinguishers, water fights, planting cress seeds on carpets, midnight SAS style abductions, wrapping the SU building entirely in toilet paper and planting rude words in Crocus bulbs on the college lawn, fresh random acts of puerile evil were required.

Cue the Bug incident.

There was a very pretty girl in halls the stair above me, who got right up our noses with her constant vacuous preening, inane chatter, girly cliquism and attention to fashion. She also had beautiful flowing curly locks of hair, and was always flouncing around poncing it up with tongs and hairspray and things.

Our halls were lit with strip-lighting, the plastic box casings of which attracted all manner of bugs to their deaths; spiders, Daddy-Long-Legs, moths, wasps and other unmentionable insectoids.

To my eternal shame I instigated a mass collection of said bugs into a veritable charnel lucky-bag, and along with a couple of other evil monsters, tipped the whole lot over her head and into her hair while she was getting ready to go out one evening.

There was perhaps a half a second of silence, while it still seemed funny, before (and I will never forget this) the most horrific and ear piercing wail of utter abject horror, terror and distress from the poor girl as she frantically fought to scrabble the blackened crispy shower of legs and wings and eyes and probosci from her curly locks.

It was immediately not funny at all, not in the slightest, and it remains so to this day.

I was evil. I regret it. I dearly hope she recovered from our awful bullying, didn't have to spend too much on therapy, and doesn't have any lasting phobia of bugs, or twuntcakes like me.
(p0zitr0n - phunarmically charged particle, detected at, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 15:13, 4 replies)

Oh man, I hate women too.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 15:14, closed)

YMMV. I don't hate women, but I do hate my old self for doing this.
(p0zitr0n - phunarmically charged particle, detected at, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 15:20, closed)

If you'd pulled her hair she would have really got the message that you fancied* her
*Crywanked yourself over the faint aroma of her perfume that if you keep your door open on a friday night, just the tiniest whispers of it float in
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 15:19, closed)

So you're a jealous homosexual then?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 15:23, closed)