My wife, bless her
We visited New York in december for our honeymoon, it was amazing and the 'Big City Bastard' myth was soon expelled. The locals were very friendly; I had expected pushy, "im walkin' here", in your face, wont hold a door open types. I was very wrong I'm glad to report.

We had agreed that of our 3 nights, one was for a theatre show, one for a nice meal and the other out on the lash. Mrs Monkey heard of a good bar in the village called the Fat Black Pussycat...we headed there.

It looked cool enough and we plonked down at the end of the bar nearest the door, taking things in. Mrs M was reading signs behind my head after a while, "no sports jerseys", "no stocking caps/du-rags", "no single men". The single thing stuck in my mind as there was a young white girl sitting on her own behind my missus, and I started to wonder was she some kind of sexual predator/hooker/loner...just fanciful stuff really as the beer and apple martini (wife's) flowed.

Soon enough 2 black guys came in and its obvious one was with the girl. Few drinks later 2 more guys come in and they've got a burger shaped cupcake with a candle... its the girls' boyfriend's birthday we find out through the medium of song!

Thats it! The missus is very merry and announces to me we simply must get him a birthday drink! Order him a beer!

So order I does, and she teeters over with a Stella mug, grinning like a loon. The reaction blew me away! The guys all started whooping and cheering and the girl is hugging my wife, stunned. I tip a wink and a nod, offer a hand and wish the guy happy birthday.

His mates cannot believe it and one came over to give a bro-shake-hug and tells me "that was some move man, real slick". I tell him honesly it was all my wifes idea, he just smiled and headed back saying "really cool".

The girl bought me a beer in return with a "welcome to new york". When we left it was smiles and bro-shakes all round, the guy tells me that kind of thing just doesnt happen.

My missus has got a heart of gold
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:01, 9 replies)

Bro-shakes?
Also, -1 point for the latent racism.
But, +2 for posting a story that doesn't make me want to throw up.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:09, closed)

bro-shakes --> that stupid not-a-handshake clasp
tried to avoid any racialism but it fitted the context of the "real slick" i thought. Is that racist? apologies if so :/
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:29, closed)

Come to think of it,
your mentioning people's gender, marks you out as a deplorable sexist, too. Not to mention the appaling subjugation of your life partner under the out-dated institution of marriage.

Fuck it, now I've made myself sick. Your fault.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:52, closed)

I want to like this
except you appear to have completely contradicted yourself somewhere between the first bit claiming that everybody was very friendly and the last bit where the locals are utterly blown away by a mundane expression of basic humanity.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:25, closed)

do you often buy strangers drinks?
i thought it was a nice, out of the ordinary gesture...maybe im just easily pleased.
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:31, closed)

I think it's certainly believable.
I was in a Surrey pub by myself one night, because I fancied a game of pool, and got chatting with a couple of lads who were more or less monopolising the table. After a couple of hours one of them went off to join his girlfriend and I bought the other one a pint. He looked at me as though I'd just handed him the keys to a Ferrari.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:54, closed)

It is/was a nice gesture. Dont worry about Shambo. Its probably just the haemorrhoids playing up.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 18:08, closed)

I should definitely show you my penis.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 19:38, closed)

like ghostbusters
we shouldnt touch beams, otherwise its ok
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 12:26, closed)