Me ex
She'd had a rough life and I'd known her for years, since I was a kid, but at the point we started seeing each other I hadn't seen her for about 7 or 8 years.

After going out together for a year we bought a place together. Well, I say 'we' but I paid the mortgage and she'd pay the bills, only I always ended paying it all.

The new place was 1/2 a mile away from where she worked, doing a very unchallenging admin job, but I still had a 45 minute commute up the m6. Not long after moving in she started her psycho ways and helped level her previous issues / past by slagging me off in public all the time when we were out with my mates - she didn't have any - and also every time we went to my folks.

Anyway about 6 months in, and I was basically in my first management position where I was a low risk appointment - no previous experience or anything - it was a last throw of the dice for our companies dot com operations and on a shit wage. If I failed there was no doubt we'd go the way of the rest of our companies online departments and be made redundant. So I worked all hours etc etc to keep mine and her's little corner of paradise alive. I got so stressed by the responsibility I had patches of hair fall out!

Anyway, things eased off and the department made profit at last, had a pay rise.

'Why don't you join a gym' said she, 'great idea' said I. So I did.

It was only a couple of weeks before she'd wake me up at 5.30 saying I should go to the gym as it would be quiet, I was looking so much better for the weight loss etc etc. So I'd go and run and swim like fook.

anyway, one of our offices was only 5 miles away from home so, one day, after doing a training session there I popped home for lunch, and there was a car outside my garage with a kids seat in - no strange thing as people often park wherever they can in the close.

She was unexpectedly at home, the key was in the door but I managed to get in. She greeted me wearing her nightdress with her bra still on underneath. She told me she was off sick for the day. I went upstairs to drop the kids off and some fecker was in the toilet. This fella came out without his boots on, exchanged pleasantries, said he had to leave and it was nice to meet me.

The lass told me she was off sick and the fella was her boss who'd come round to present the results of her recent appraisal. I commented on the boots thing and she replied that they have to do that at work as they can't get their overalls down to have a shit otherwise.

Fair enough. Thought no more of it.

Anyway, I ended up being encouraged to go to the gym more and more. In the end I sussed she was shagging around (well not so much sussed but finished work early and went for a pint in the local and the two of them were eating each other's faces off)So I made some enquiries via my bro who worked on the same industrial estate as the lass. Turns out this fella has a wife and two kids as well.

I toyed with phoning his missus and telling all, but backed off as it would cause more hurt than necessary - basically my lass had issues and bonded sexually with anyone who provided her with security. It had been her MO all her life.

I held no bitterness as she'd had it rough (kicked out of home at 15 when she told her jehovah witness folks she didn't want to be one, fucked up all her uni prospects, lived in a squat etc etc) and we made arrangements to sell the house. As things progressed with the sale I decided to buy it myself, as I could just about scrape the money. She took this as me fucking things up and phoned her boss who threatened to beat the shit out of me when I slept etc etc. Didn't enjoy living there quite so much and the last few weeks i ended up kipping with no duvet etc in the spare room (she confiscated the spare duvet off me as I didn't wash the pans up one night and therefore 'couldnt be trusted with her posessions'!)

Anyway to cut things short, the day that she moved out he dumped her, and made her redundant.

She turned to me via her mate who lived next door but one that very night.

I could have had a right 'told you so' rant and laugh but instead chose to point out why she had ended up in the situation, how couldnt she see that her fling was of any meaning and talked around / convinced her that she'd get through it and offered my support in looking for a new job etc.

As she was, in her own words, in no state I drove her back to her new place. She insisted on us having a combined housewarming / heartwarming drink and it wasn't a problem as I could have the couch. After a couple of bottles of wine, the couch wasn't good enough so she insisted on me sharing her bed.

Hands wandered over each other and as my hand got down towards her lady bits, (I could feel the fucking steam rising off it from 3 feet away FFS!) I realised this is exactly what she wanted so I turned over and went to sleep.

The next morning the mood had cooled and she wasn't so keen on showing her body off. Turned out I'd been right so off to work I toddled, stopping off home for a 'settler' on the way.

Cut to the next weekend and she and her mate come round mine and insist I go out. As the night goes on they end up competing for my affections. It was like that old fucking ad for Denim aftershave with hands rubbing me chest etc. Turns out they were after a threesome - well that's what my ex told me.

Again, putting my sensible wurzel head on I go home whereupon I didn't get a shag for three years.

I did however deliver local newspapers to her flat, to help her get a job, for a good two months afterwards, even though she wouldnt answer the door.


Regrets? Them papers cost me a fortune
(spike starski, Thu 12 Oct 2006, 20:59, Reply)