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This is a question Scary Neighbours

My immediate neighbours are lovely. But the next house down from that? Crimminy biscuits - he's a 70 year old taxi driver who loves to tell me at length about the people he's put in hospital and how Soho is "run by Maltese ponces." How scary are your neighbours?

(, Thu 25 Aug 2005, 13:20)
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No matter where I live, my neighbours and I tend to scare each other mutually.
About 7 years ago my neighbour was an aspiring bass player who was only limited by his lack of talent. We were reasonably tolerant of this, being the nurturing musical types we were, however this all changed one morning after a big party when the house was jolted awake to a hamfisted attempt at the bassline from "Killing in the Name of" by Rage Against the Machine.

We (about 10 of us, all in that blissful stage where you wake up just before the hangover kicks in) migrated to the back yard, outside his window and tried to help him by singing the bassline as sarcastically as possible (dun-dun-dun DUN-DUN-DUN etc), and lobbing rotten passionfruit from the vine in the backyard through his window.

He actually put up with this for about 15 minutes before putting his head out of the window (and copping a passionfruit in the face - it didn't explode) and yelling at us with a voice of complete exasperation that will forever be burned into my memory, "SHIFT MY WANK!" before slamming his window shut.

Within a certain circle of friends, the phrase "shift my wank" is used to this day to cover a wide range of emotions (confusion, boredom, anger, excitement - the list goes on), to settle arguments and on one occasion it was even used to start one.
(, Sat 27 Aug 2005, 10:00, Reply)

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