Playground Football
My middle school was shit, but I do carry around a fond memory of one particular incident that happened at lunch time.

For the boys football was the sport to play, even if you didn't like it and were no good, it was better than wandering around aimlessly or talking to the teachers.

Anyway our school 'superiors' had decided that real footballs were too dangerous and so we were limited to playing with tennis balls (thaaat's right).

On this fateful afternoon the match was in full swing, the tennis ball pinging back and forth from one end of the playground to the other when the hero of our story steps up and attempts a manoeuvre no man should try, especially not if you happen to be overweight and wearing school trousers...

The ball bounces at him about chest height, for some reason he thinks it will be a good idea to try and kick it at this height. Not an overhead kick mind you, just a standard 'left foot on the floor, swing the right boot at it' kind of kick.
- The right leg is swung forwards and upwards
- The non-stretchy fabric of school trousers tightens where the two legs join and pulls the left leg forwards slightly lifting it off the ground, but not before ripping for all to hear.
- Idiot falls flat on his back, hitting his head on the concrete, legs splayed with a huge rip from fly to arse-crack.

I think just about every single person fell about laughing. Not one person offered the lad a hand, he just got up and trudged off to the toilets, one hand on his head and one on his arse trying to cover the rip. Dignity firmly destroyed
(porkinator is a Rock n Roll nerd!, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 10:57, Reply)