Schadenfreude Christmas Special - 3 for the price of 2
The following three stories concern one friend whose monumental lack of foresight has led to some spectacular ouchies:

1.) The plug - When replacing a fuse in your hoover plug always ensure to fit the plastic cover on - it is there for a reason. Failing to do so and forcing the plug into a socket which is already on (whilst holding Live and Neutral) may result in shocking consequences.

2.) The flaming bottle - Most 14/15 year old boys have probably tried this one. Task a glass beer bottle, liberally fill with butane from the clipper that you probably stole from you dad, hold lighter to one side and light. Thus creating a pretty fire ball and jet-like flame from the bottle. However if you fail to hold to one side and instead hold your hand above the lighter neck, you end up in A & E with 2nd degree burns.

3.) The razing of the garage - Back in the mid 90s myself and some friends offered to help my mum take down her old garage. It was a nice hot summers day and we had made steady progress, so all that remained was the basic timber frame. Now in your head imagine the two ends of the garage which looked like 16ft-tall letter As. The two ends had originally been joined at the top, left and right by three timbers (think corners of the As). The left and right supports were then removed and taken to the skip. This basically meant that the two ends were purely supported by a single piece of timber. On returning from the skip my brother-in-law and I looked up to see my friend straddling the timber and smiling like a tit as he was merrily sawing through the timber on which he sat. Brother-in-law and I look at each other with that "I'm not gonna say anything if you don't" look. Taking a seat on the patio with a cold beer to watch the impending fall/fail... 16ft onto concrete.

I wish to this day I had a camera phone. The moment of realisation on his face as he cut through was priceless. There was a loud crack as the wood gave way. To his credit he managed to grab the top of the A he was nearest to. What followed resembled a kinda backwards pole-vault as the entire frame folded in on itself, him holding on for dear life. On landing he turned to us with a shit eating grin as if to say "Ha! see i meant that to happen"/

Then he got twated on the head by the cross-member he had just cut through. Darwinism is a bitch sometimes.

That is all.. oh yeah merry christmas one and all!
(skintagain, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 11:15, 7 replies)

I don't like all this revelling in others misery
where is the christmas love? :(
( broadsword w⚓, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 11:49, closed)

Maybe if you have been a good boy...
santa will bring you a new QOTW
(skintagain, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 11:53, closed)

Haaaaaaaahahahaha
Story three finishes perfeckly
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 12:05, closed)

not really Darwinism though
I'm assuming your friend isn't dead, nor impotent/infertile as a result of the accident.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 12:25, closed)

More of an honorary mention for stupidity..
Given time i'm sure he will.
(skintagain, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 12:30, closed)

let's hope so
sawing through the thing you are sat on is automatic proof that you are too stupid to live :-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 13:43, closed)

even more so
if you use a power saw
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:09, closed)