A Very Short Effort
No not my willy. This:

In the early 90's coming off the back of the huge success of Oasis, all my friends were obsessed with all things Brit-Pop. This entailed going back to the roots which many believe was the Stone Roses. (For the record I was into Radiohead and the Pixies around this time...) The group of friends were discussing how amazing the new CD 'The Best of the Stone Roses' was. One such impressionable friend, forever trying to fit in decided he would get involved in the banter and purchase said CD. In fact I can just picture him in the local music shop, picking out the CD and whispering "this is the one".

The next day in registration, the lads were discussing particular tracks. "OH isn't 'She Bangs the Drums' a treat!" "Ooohhh Waterfall is AMAZING!" etc, etc. Our impressionable young fella Squeak, who was keen to be adored pipes in with: "I think track 17 is the best.. What's it called now.. 'Paint it Black'. Cracking track.."

The group did not respond as Squeak expected. In fact you might say the silence was made of stone. As the silence and bemused looks within the group continued, Squeak knew that something was burning, but he thought to himself don't stop.. "Yeah, that song Jumpin Jack Flash is something else as well.." and again the silence continued. It was clear he was going down.

The group of boys burst into raucous laughter. "You fucking spastic!" one shouted. "You only went and bought the Best of the Rolling Stones!!!!"

Squeak never did recover from that rock and roll faux pas. In fact once we left highschool we never saw him again. Think he lives somewhere in Aberdeen now....


Never know though, might be a chance of a Second Coming....
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 15:58, 12 replies)

By the way this slightly poor story is actually 100% true including the ending. The crappy puns were an afterthought :E
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 16:02, closed)

And the irony is.......
one CD contained (sometimes)innovative rock'n'roll classics that helped shape a generation, and the other contained badly-produced, tinny, weedy derivative northern pop music.

I'd say the chap had a lucky break, there...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 16:10, closed)

agreed
the stone roses are easily the most over hyped band that never deserved it.

the odd catchy tune, granted...but thats about the height of it. ian brown can't even sing, the simian faced cunt
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 16:24, closed)

definitely
the rolling stones should be on the national curriculum.

particularly Gimme Shelter
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 16:24, closed)

I can see a good essay title there:
Gimme Shelter: discuss the relative merits of the original version as performed by The Rolling Stones and the later version recorded by Grand Funk Railroad

Didn't someone like Dusty Springfield of that one as well...or did I just dream that?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 14:26, closed)

Damn right

(Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 16:27, closed)

IMO, The 'Stone Roses' were quite good...

Managing to (briefly) capture the imagination of a generation in a way that many bands before and since have achieved

'I am the resurrection' is an absolutely phenomenal track...

But they weren't no 'Stones...and they never will be.

(Bad English deliberate for effect)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 16:31, closed)

Hopefully the bad English isn't a diss at my small effort!!!!?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 16:43, closed)

Undoubtedly the Rolling Stones were faaaaaar more influential, spanning decades and genres. However in terms of my late 80's and 90's "yoof", I was deep inside that whole Britpop movement and therefore at the time nothing was bigger, especially the ageing parody of themselves that was the Rolling Stones.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 16:46, closed)

I now have both of those...
...and Rolling Stones are better.

And still around.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 16:24, closed)

Still around maybe...
But I'm sure a couple of them died ten years ago.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 10:08, closed)

Well, I'm sure "Keef" actually died in 1978
And the grim reaper came and picked up the wrong Keith*. So now Richards shall wander the Earth forever as one of the undead.



*_Moon
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 14:28, closed)