Conversational gambit: fail
A couple of years ago, at a rock night in a pub in the town where I went to school, I ran into some of my younger brother's friends. They'd attended the same secondary school as I had and were a pretty good bunch on the whole, so seeing as I was plastered I joined them for a chat. Shortly, they were joined by another of their friends, and it was then that my evening began to go downhill. Unfortunately, this poor chap had, in his early teens, attempted to bully me. While being several years younger and considerably smaller than I was. To make matters worse, his mother taught physics at the very same school we had both attended, and was a notoriously unpleasant, shrewish woman afflicted with a distinctive aroma. The final nail in my coffin was the rather unsavoury rumour about his sexual proclivities that had circulated endlessly around the school for a good two years.

How did I decide to break the ice when he wandered over to the table? What did I think would be the best way to show that we could put past differences aside and enjoy a few friendly drinks?

"Hello there. I remember you from school. I always thought you were a cunt, but I guess I can give you the benefit of the doubt if you're hanging around with this lot. I still hate your mum though, she reeked like a bag of dead fannies. Hey, is it true you fucked your cat?"
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 18:52, Reply)