Home Secretary
This is libellous but droll. Jacqui Smith taught at my school and once got very upset about the fact that no-one had given her the requisite 50p for a mince pie and glass of mulled wine to be consumed after the Xmas performance of Handel's Messiah (you can tell what kind of school this was). She once shouted across a choir rehearsal in that voice she uses in the Commons when she's uptight: "Shut Up!! I need your 50ps! Shut up! 50p!" To this day whenever she comes on telly, my entire family and social group from school shout the same back at the telly. :)
(SpongyMonkey is an honorary East Anglian on, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 1:38, 4 replies)

I know someone
who lives in the flat above Jacqui Smith down near the Thames.

Apparently her kids are noisy little shits and she can't control them...
( SpankyHanky, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 9:09, closed)

I presume
that this is in Redditch or thereabouts? If this is where you live now, please vote her out next time. I will pay you. Just looking at wacky Jacqui makes my teeth itch.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 9:55, closed)

This is actually down at Tower Hamlets...
...Its her 'City' flat...

No doubt kitted out with the latest toys, gadgets and furniture at our expense.

Apparently she bought three flats in a row below where my mate lives and knocked them through to make one super-sized flat.

This, my friend, is socialism...
( SpankyHanky, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 9:58, closed)

The best home secretary East Germany never had
This has made me the happiest I've ever been after reading something on the Internet.

Have you got any more stories? Please?

*click*
( Scrumper, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 13:57, closed)