i know
the stories i have on him at school are legend.

He believed ANYTHING you told him. For years we had him believe we were all junkies (it was on grange hill so he knew what it meant) and not a day went past when we didnt reinforce this belief by accidentally dropping foil, straws, spoons, little wraps of flour 'accidentally' when he was around.

The cricket ball thing is true. Despite not having a geniune disability of any kind, he was utterly, utterly puny and without effort. Thats what we hated. He never tried anything. If we did running, he's stumble behind - the 100m would take about 10 minutes.

Academically, easily the worst in the year, school, anyone I have ever met. No discernable ability in any one thing, reading, writing, maths, art anything.

He had (and still only has) ONE single redeeming - but almost entirely useless - ability. He knew the Guiness Book of hit Records off by heart. Thats why he did well at 'Pop of The Form' (they recorded it at our school a few times with Mike Read!). Although, as his radio biog indicates, he still came second despite having memorised every single fact of modern music to that point.

I saw him working the bar at the MEN a few years back so he's come on in leaps and bounds.

i have hundreds more stories like this.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 13:36, Reply)