North Wales take 2
Inspired by The Cats Mother...

...for my friends 21st birthday we went to Wales, North Wales to be specific, camping. Yay!

There were 4 of us crammed into the shittiest ever Toyota Corrola Y reg clapped out absolute, begging out to be crushed piece of shit.

We didn't have a plan, as in we didn't know which campsite we were going to, which turned out to be an issue as no camp site seemed to want to take 4 young lads (I was 18 at the time). Eventually after much discussion with a lovely old couple they allowed us onto a site, we pitched up, got pissed knowing the next day was going to be MASSIVE.

Next day was a relatively nice day, there wasn't much rain and the sky only looked vaguely fucking miserable. So it's the birthday boys big day, and he is drinking southern comfort before 12 noon, this turned out not to be the "best idea ever" in the end trust me. We decided to head into the local town/village of what I believe was called Abergele (not 100% sure on that) to get some scram and have a few beers before going out later on. With this accomplished it was back to the site, use the worst ever shower room, get your glad rags on and go to where else but...Rhyl, this is about 7pm now my friend is still clutching a bottle of southern comfort as he stuff his face with kebab meat and chips on a bench on Rhyl. Needless to say we end up basically pissed on the sea front in pants and the worst shirts you have ever seen with a very drunk 6'4" 17 stone dickhead.

He reckons he has sobered up and we flag a taxi with the idea of just getting him back to the campsite, whilst in the taxi we pass a nightclub I believe was called Rosy O'Gradys my drunken friend forces he taxi to stop here we get out and go in. Things seem to be going ok, however the taxi driver when letting us out leaving us with this parting shot "I will take you round the back lads cos that's where they are going to kick you out when they realise you are scousers".

About an hour in our friend is becoming a nuisance, apparently the rule is no drinks on the dance floor, which he does repeatedly, then out of no where he is dove on by a doorman and flattened. The music stops. The lights come on. We run over just in time to see my mate who is flat on his back unleash a complete monster of a punch and knock this door man clean out. We were then literally "Charlie chuck chucked" into the fire exit doors at the back of the club. The taxi driver was right.

Outside in the freezing cold air, wearing the worst shirts imaginable, bladdered and now some of us covered in blood and ripped pants...we seem to fit right in. Trying to calm my friend down was not going well, he went into an arcade that was still open and nicked the two things you hold off an air disc table and wanted to go back and "twat the welsh cunts" with them. No taxis would stop for us, the police did but just to see what had gone on, had a chuckle and fucked off again. Another friend of mine called Joey was attempting to calm down the pisshead birthday cunt and for his amazing efforts of diplomacy got a fucking smack in the mouth (I secretly enjoyed that bit).

We do eventually get picked up by a taxi, back to the camp site. I woke up underneath the corolla, piss wet through, freezing. Joey and the birthday boy didn't speak to one another for the next week or so. Also the arcade we went to to clean up (where the air disc shit was stolen from) the pisshead birthday boy had left his jewellery in the toilets there (like a sovereign ring or something...class I know).

So yeah, it wasn't great, but I will remember it always. The birthday boy is still called "The Beast" on the basis of these escapades.

TL:DR couldn't give a fuck mate
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 18:03, 17 replies)

And that's the difference
Between a holiday with your parents at 14 and one with your mates at 18.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 19 Aug 2014, 18:10, closed)

I'm trying to decide who's worse...
Your awful "mates" who you seem not to actually like. or you, who secretly enjoys it when your mates hurt each other.

I guess I'm leaning towards your mates, because if they are as awful as you've made out then it'd be hard not to hate them. On the other hand, you have knowingly befriended them, making it your own fault.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 18:26, closed)

^perfect life and "dinner parties" kinda chap ^

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 18:32, closed)

life and "dinner parties" kinda
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:18, closed)

doffs cap

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:25, closed)

Don't be too hard on the poor lad: it's not his fault.
I mean, he thinks I'm Welsh, for goodness' sake.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 18:36, closed)

You are welsh you sheep shagging ball bag

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 18:40, closed)

I bet you're one of those closet welsh.
All "oh hello how are you charmed I'm sure what what?" during the day but as soon as the sun goes down you're lurking in toilet cubicles ready to iechyd da the first Jones or Evans who walks in.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 19:16, closed)

I wear underwear with a discreet sheep motif.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 22:12, closed)

I'm trying to figure out if this is a genuine piece of writing
or a subtle attempt at TTT.

Either way you have my pity.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 18:58, closed)

I dunno what TTT means soz

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 19:01, closed)

Top Tromboning Talent
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 19:18, closed)

trying too tard

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 19:26, closed)

lol scallies are shit and can't hold their ale

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 18:58, closed)

glad to see he's edited out the bit about them wanking each other off

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 20:36, closed)

that was the only bit I enjoyed
:(
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 22:16, closed)

I was worried for you at first but then realised
that to you and your mates this must have been like a luxury break in Monte Carlo.
What with you coming from Bootle or Fazakerley or somewhere.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 19 Aug 2014, 19:39, closed)

Keepin' it Rhyl

(Bob the Builder killed Captain Alex, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 20:03, closed)

I have a friend on a social media site that says
Keepin' it Rhyl after just about everything he posts
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 20:31, closed)

You went there when you were younger
and you went BACK!

Bloody hell.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 20:08, closed)

Yeah...this was somewhat of a mistake.
However the idea was simply to just get smashed.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 20:26, closed)

Rhyl
is twinned with Mordor.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 22:26, closed)