Rakky's herbal tea tale reminds me;
Health food shops are places of concentrated evil. In fact, I recall a recent news story about one of these chinese herbalists being prosecuted for killing some girl by selling her what was supposedly a painkiller. Perhaps it was just a mis-translation? Painkiller / Kills in pain, close enough eh?

Anyway, I have one simple recommendation for a digestive herbal aid: Mint Tea. It's the only 'health food' type stuff that's ever worked for me, and boy was it good. Like Slick-50 for the colon.

I was at work one long and extremely dull weekend. I had a rummage through my desk to kill five minutes and discovered some long-forgotten Mint teabags. I'd also forgotten how pleasantly refreshing a beverage they produce when infused into hot water. So much did I enjoy the flavoursome refreshment that I partook of several cups throughout the day. No physical effect made itself apparent until late in the afternoon when the gut-rumble came on as more an urgent sharp abdominal pain than the usual churning.

I must point out at this stage, that I have a complete and utter aversion to doing #2's anywhere apart from my own home throne. It's not unknown for me to drive 20 minutes each way during my lunch hour to have a crap at home. Crimping one off at work, then, hold as much personal discomfort to me as filling your pants would, to a pikey perhaps. So with deep disdain and much emotional turmoil, I made my way to the company crapper. I feared that it would be a 'biggun' and someone would inevitably come into the toilets as a gust of arse wind escaped noisily.

Thanks to the bowel greasing effect of mint tea, my fears were completely unfounded. The log(s) consistensy was barely affected, but they had magically received a coating as slippery as a KY covered eel overdosing on amphetamine. I no sooner relaxed my sphincter than a gaggle of manure moles hastily departed my rectum as though they were late for a prestigious sewer party. It was all over in the blink of a brown-eye!

Being that I was only a mail-room lackey at the time, the paid-to-poo benefit was probably less than one English pound.

Length:
Turds - Average
Time - To be faster than that, you'd need a Delorean equipped with a flux-capacitor.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 9:30, 1 reply)

Click!
Not only for manure moles and prestigious sewer party but also for Back To The Future reference!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 10:40, closed)