Childhood! Picnics! Gangrene! A username that doesn't have a non-rapey childhood version!
To set our scene, I have an older sister who didn't like me much when we were tiny. Two years my senior, I caught her up size-wise by the time I was three. (I am a giant of a person)

~~~ Wavy lines! ~~~

We're on a family holiday in Cornwall and my newfound size means me and my sister can play fun new games. Or so she convinces me... We're at a picnic site with those wooden tables and a concreted ground. The sister tells me to get up on the table, roll off the end and she'll catch me. Being three, I wasn't familiar with the inherent risk whenever anyone tells you to go first.

Up I clamber, lie down and see my sister waiting with her arms out like a rugby player waiting to catch that ball that's nearly going into touch. I begin my roll of destiny, she has second thoughts as an overgrown toddler who weighs as much as she does is about to drop onto her from three feet up. I roll faster; she stands her ground like a proper big sister looking out for her young sibling. I pirouette gracefully off the edge of the table, and my sister imitates the rugby player who sees the ball is ACTUALLY going into touch by flinging her arms out of the way and taking a step back.

Little ESP* has tucked in his arms to facilitate catching the twirly sausage roll that is he. He lands face first on the concrete, blacks out. Blood oozes. Parents finally notice what's happening behind their backs as sister screams. Regaining consciousness, little ESP begins to bawl as blood is EVERYWHERE, and there's a mangled mess where half his forehead skin used to be. Said mess turns virulently green in the next few weeks and little ESP has to endure pills on top of pus oozing from his face. (All this had been subsequently told to me due to memory loss, hence the disjointed third person.)

It's amazing how well infected head wounds heal when you're small. All I've got is a little bump in the bone and a snazzy little scar right by my hairline.

*I would refer to myself as ElectricSexNappy but that sounds a bit wrong
(ElectricSexPants would like to be the Sultan of something, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 14:42, 2 replies)

Hmmmmmmm
Imitation is the best form of flattery, but...
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Mon 25 Jan 2010, 8:34, closed)

imitation?
The whole exclamation-riddled title is just a parody of old news headlines. I thought it was a meme rather than one user's personal property...

that guy who first did a length joke must be really pissed off by now.
(ElectricSexPants would like to be the Sultan of something, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 13:15, closed)