Answer these to pass the time
Rather male-centric, I'm afraid, but...

Mobile phone or 1950s bakelight handset with dial?
TV or your own cockfighting pit?
Come on J-Lord's face or spit on Jordan's baby?
Aikido lessons with Steven Seagal or painting lessons
with Tracey Emin?
Discovering a Viking hoard in your garden, or a Viking
whore in your shed?
A lifetime's supply of lubricant or a tartan Thermos
flask
Do Jodie Marsh up the scuttle or machinegun Janet
Street Porter to death?
Most irritating: local radio DJs or arts
undergraduates?
Record a duet: with Korn or The Chuckle Brothers?
Which skill: speed typing or the ability to blow
yourself?
Licence to kill one person: Paris Hilton or Robert
Mugabe?
Forced into homosexuality with: Brad Pitt or Daniel
Radcliffe?
For £100,000: beat off before a live studio audience
or be sucked off by Jordan in private.
Whisky or cognac?
Change your name to: Squint-Eyed Tit or Sieg Heil Mein
Fuhrer?
Heroin-fuelled sex with a supermodel of your choice,
or the services of a personal chef for six months.
Choose your back-catalogue: Madonna or Tori Amos?
Free downloads for a year or your own bakery?
A free travel pass to: Estonia or Sudan?
A sex pill to intensify orgasm to extreme proportions
or a brain pill to increase your IQ to genius
proportions?
A free supply of designer clothes for a year or a blow
job from any woman you choose?
Bionic legs or super-hearing?
A set of copper pans or a vintage tennis racket?
A pedigree cat or some pedigree chum?
Top-of-the-line waterproof jacket or some golfing
shoes?
A solid gold edition of Monopoly, or Connect Four made
from fine cheese?
A scythe or a sickle?
A set of quality screwdrivers or a course in car
maintenance?
An Aston Martin or 400,000 packets of your chosen
crisps?
Three rounds in the ring with: Pete Docherty or Alan
Sugar?
A wooden spoon or a mixing bowl?
Licked to orgasm by a team of Japanese schoolgirls or be
sun-cream applicator for the Brazilian women's beach
volleyball team?
Memorabilia: Ringo's drumsticks or Bruce Willis' white
vest?
Get tugged off by Angeline Jolie wearing leather or
take Jessica Simpson roughly from behind
Appear in the Simpsons or appear in Lost?
Go on Big Brother or go on a lone trek to the South
Pole?
Pole-vaulting lessons or a made-to-measure diving
suit?
Black up and speak in a mock Pakistani accent for a month
or pretend to like Star Trek and go to conferences
etc?
Build your own set of pine drawers or build a replica
of the Taj Mahal from mahogany chopsticks?
(frankspencer, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:30, Reply)