I'm too nice.
Not a gaff as such, but I bet it's the most common social networking mistake.

Recently I've been spending time on one or two dating apps on facebook, in order to get over my broken heart. (It isn't working).

I find it depressing and amusing in equal measure. Depressing because there are some really sad people out there... and amusing for the same reason. You would not believe what people put out there for all of womankind to see in the hope that one of us will somehow be attracted to it. (See my list of rules for dating profile pics). (Or go and spend an afternoon looking yourself. It's an entertaining psychological study).

I view the "winks" I receive with trepidation. Frequently my response to them is "Oh. Good. God." or "WTF?!" Some are actually from perfectly acceptable looking people with well written profiles. Occasionally one strikes me as being a decent enough person to want to actually get to know better.

This is the lesson I have learned: No matter how good a first impression is, it is false. As soon as you allow a stranger from a dating site to become your facebook friend they will stalk you, assume you are BFF, plaster your wall with overly familiar comments which will draw attention from your real friends, who will want to know what the fuck you are hiding from them, bombard you with instant messages instantly every time you log into chat, no matter what time of day or night, and occasionally act the manipulative martyr when they deem that you're not giving them enough attention.

I know I should just defriend them. But I can't. I feel too guilty. Instead I try to ignore and avoid them as much as possible, throwing them a morsel when the guilt gets the better of me, hide the timeline on my newsfeed and never, ever log into chat so they can't see when I'm online.

I know. It's pathetic.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 22:00, 6 replies)

Grasp the nettle
It'll be better for everyone if you block them - they're probably just clinging to the morsels you're throwing them, waiting for you to come to your senses. Block the buggers.
(johnson, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 22:23, closed)

I know...
I know... I do know :(

Cruel to be kind and all that...
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 22:31, closed)

Curel to be kind to them...
...but also to yourself. It may feel crap, you may feel guilty, but that will fade (especially with a bottle of wine handy), whereas being reminded of it regularly is only going to prolong feeling crappy about it.

Be more selfish - it's nothing to be ashamed of! :)
(annexed, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:43, closed)

(wince)
Please, if you don't like someone, just say "Thanks, but No" it's both cruel and cowardly to just ignore them until they get too disspirited even to hope.

Better the headsman's kiss than the Oubilette...
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:53, closed)

In my defence
Not much of a defence but still...

I initially liked them enough to add them in the first place, just (naively) wasn't expecting the ensuing bombardment. And I haven't led anyone on, I've made it quite clear that I'm not interested in them in THAT way. I just get the feeling they're only hearing what they want to hear.

I know being direct will be better for all concerned. I just hate doing it... being direct with needy people is like kicking kittens.

And er... whut?
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:20, closed)

OK
Think I might be getting the hang of this being direct with needy people thing... one down.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:53, closed)