My actual worst mistake
is one I hesitate to dredge up from the part of my mind I have it locked away in, marked "do not open under any circumstances or you will want to die of shame, embarrassment and loss of self respect". In fact, no, it doesn't even have a warning on it because that would imply that I am not still trying to convince myself it wasn't me.

So why am I dredging it up here... good question... maybe some part of me thinks that bringing it out into the light for others to mock will make me feel better about myself, in some kind of perverse healing process.

OK. I was in a bad relationship. I still don't know how I managed to get out of it alive and sane. He was an abusive control freak. I was very young when we met. I became trapped for 13 years. Eventually I had to escape. I knew I couldn't physically escape so when the internet was invented it provided the perfect opportunity to virtually escape.

*cringe*

I can say no more without going into spasms of denial... except that it resulted in my being forced to announce publically on a forum where I had made some very good friends that my flirtatious comments directed towards another member had been because I liked being spanked, not because I actually fancied the member in question... And similarly having to explain to my family and friends that cybersex on a Scrabble site was the reason for my being thrown out of my home, and definitely not anything that would make my ex out to be in any way at fault or a bad person or lose face in any way at all.

Thankfully all of the people involved in this sorry sordid saga are still in my life, still my friends and, presumably, don't judge me... except my ex...
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 22:29, 8 replies)

e-sex on a scrabble site?
heehee :D
but i can empathise with you on the whole control freak ex situation.
( gypsy turnips, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 4:37, closed)

no harm in a little spanking
candlewax on the balls? Now that's fucked up!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 10:43, closed)

Yeah, I found it bizarre
I actually joined the site to play scrabble, as you do, and I would get approached via IM several times a day by horny guys wanting more. My username indicated that I was female so obviously I was fair game... Think the site's been closed down now.

The spanking thing, well yes I agree, nothing wrong with it. But what mortified me most about that was that the member in question was a good friend and I hated having to deflate his ego in such a public fashion. My ex made me do it, as he believed that my fancying someone else made him look like a dickhead...
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:01, closed)

Spanked...
...would get you a fantastic score if you could find a double or treble-word square to place it on...

(sorry)
(annexed, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:49, closed)

Good lord
You and me have an almost identical story, including the 13 year count..

You're not my ex though, since you can spell. :)
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Sun 14 Sep 2008, 11:51, closed)

Identical?
Surely not!

Unless... 2horny4U, is that you?

Jokies aside, hope you got out ok without too many nervous breakdowns.

Btw, am I going mad or is this replying to replies thing new?
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sun 14 Sep 2008, 13:55, closed)

Yes
it is. I like it.
(Hippo_of_Doom, Sun 14 Sep 2008, 18:20, closed)

13 year count.
Surely there shouldn't be an 'o'.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:52, closed)