I think I made a real-life gaffe this morning...
This morning as I came to work I noticed a minivan being driven in that had a plate that says "MERE DE 3". I saw the driver to be our payroll woman, who happens to be married to a Frenchman.

As she was bringing in paychecks I asked, "I take it your husband dislikes your minivan?"

She looked puzzled. "No, why?"

"I noticed your license plate. Congrats on getting a naughty word through DMV."

She looked annoyed. "I've gotten that before. It means 'mother of three'." And she stalked off.

Mother Of Three, Shit Three... the distinction is a fine one, I admit.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 16 Sep 2008, 14:39, 21 replies)

I would have made exactly the same mistake
Humourless cow. She sounds like the sort of woman who says "Speaking as a mother..."
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 16 Sep 2008, 14:43, closed)

Yes! People who say "speaking as a mother"
should automatically be ignored, along with people who say "if you had children you'd understand" who should automatically be killed.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 16 Sep 2008, 14:47, closed)

I have had "if you had children..." said to me.
at the time I had stopped 2 children from pushing each other into a canal while their disinterested mother sat on a bench smoking. I asked her why she hadn't stopped them.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 16 Sep 2008, 14:56, closed)

What's even better
is when you get to dress down an adult for letting their kids act like twats in public. They get offended and say "If you had kids-" at which point I respond with "I do have kids, three of them in fact, and I never would have permitted them to behave like this- but then, I was raised with some manners."

The effect is that of hitting them across the face with a dead mackerel. The expression is priceless.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 16 Sep 2008, 15:05, closed)

I might just say that next time.
It would make me a dirty stinking liar, but what the hell.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 16 Sep 2008, 15:12, closed)

In defense of that
I really do think it needs to be said that having kids does change you on some fundamental level. I don't say that in a self-righteous condescending way, but as an observation on myself and others I've known. Somehow your world-view shifts in subtle ways when you've had kids. I don't know that I can explain it.

On the other hand, people who use that as a way to appear superior to people who haven't had kids do deserve to be shot, and to have their children referred to as "fuck trophies".
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 16 Sep 2008, 14:57, closed)

of course having kids changes you
but indeed, as you say, what it doesn't do is bless you with some uniquely insightful and superior perspective on the world. And I will continue to point that out to the sanctimonious fuckers who think it does.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 16 Sep 2008, 15:00, closed)

It probably didn't help
that I completely cracked up at the time. I did manage to say "Sorry" between the giggles, but the damage was done I fear...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 16 Sep 2008, 14:52, closed)

I would have laughed in her face
and pointed.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 16 Sep 2008, 14:54, closed)

I think she's gotten the point now.
I would guess that she's going to get new plates sometime soon, as I'm not the only one to have done that...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 16 Sep 2008, 14:59, closed)

Pretentious cow
yeah, having children changed me.

Stretch marks.


Okay, it also made me a more patient person but considering I had a fuse shorter than a cartoon stick of dynamite, that was long overdue ....
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 16 Sep 2008, 15:31, closed)

I'm not sure
that I would wish to see this woman's stretch marks- she's relatively young, but has thighs like tree trunks with visible varicose veins and a butt wider than her shoulders. Not to mention the least flattering haircut I've seen in months and the sort of cat-eye glasses that Gary Larson used to draw in the "Far Side" cartoons.

In fact, I'd really rather just not think about any of it... eeewwwwww...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 16 Sep 2008, 15:40, closed)

Okay,
that's put my tiny white marks into perspective ....

Whenever I see butts like that, I have to supress the desire to yell "Wide load coming through", as I suspect it would get me a slap!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 16 Sep 2008, 15:56, closed)

Umm,
Wouldn't Shit 3 be MERDE 3 in french, not MEREDE 3?
(Smale is stuffed, Tue 16 Sep 2008, 15:42, closed)

Yes, it would.
But bear in mind that this is a license plate, and as such must be approved by the DMV before being issued. MERDE would have been flagged and rejected.

I've seen a few that made it through such as TNY PKR, but they're pretty good at catching them. I recall a case where an older lesbian couple was raising hell for not being able to get a plate that read "2 DYKES".

One of the better ones that I've seen said TI 3VOM, which makes more sense when seen in your rear view mirror. Would have been funnier, though if it had been done by a dyslexic and said TIMOV.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 16 Sep 2008, 15:51, closed)

My two favourites
that I've seen in real life are B1O WME (looked better on the car) and FEC 1T, which made me splutter my drink everywhere.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Tue 16 Sep 2008, 20:07, closed)

We tend to look at the shape of the words first...
.....and go for the word that's most familiar to us.
I read it as 'MER DE 3' because that's what my brain wanted me to do. argh.
( gypsy turnips, Tue 16 Sep 2008, 16:46, closed)

I wonder...
...mother of three/shit three

Maybe "shat out the sprog" is a french phrase after all...


Women who use their baby prams as a kind of cowcatcher should be forced to try to put out their baby (which is of course on fire) while avoiding an enraged (due to also being on fire) bull.
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Tue 16 Sep 2008, 23:30, closed)

It's about time the government made people apply for the right to have children. That means if your on benefits you can get to fuck.

Any 'accidents' to be terminated at the earliest opportunity. Children born to parents who have not put in their applications to be adopted immediately!

FEEL MY OPPRESIVE WRATH
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 16 Sep 2008, 15:45, closed)

While I abhor and detest the very idea
I applaud you for putting the word accidents in inverted commas. In this day and age of free access to contraception for all in the industrial world, there are no such things as accidental pregnancies. It's always the result of a choice.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Tue 16 Sep 2008, 21:51, closed)

To be fair
she deserves having the piss taken out of her for being so pretensious in the first place; not to mention chavy - that's only one small step up from having your kids' names tatooed on your arm in big gothic script. "Chardonnay-Marie"
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Tue 16 Sep 2008, 21:49, closed)