Home delivery to the stalker...
A tale of where somebody fancied me but was too lazy to stalk me properly so would call the ambulance (my work) and I would have to go to him.

My ambulance first got dispatched to this young guy a few years back. He'd had an argument with his much older gay partner and seemed to be just attention seeking. Quite surprising seeing as he had epilepsy, asthma, diabetes and mild schizophrenia.
He made it quite clear he fancied me and would call triple-zero (911 or 999 to our US and UK b3tans) each night after that.
He would usually feign unconsciousness and would always be laying with his legs apart and his tackle hanging out.

It all stopped after he got about $2500 worth of bills for service.

I'd like to say I attract female stalkers too, but there was only one and I really think the attraction was the whole "kind and caring paramedic" thing. I make Shrek look like Brad Pitt.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Sun 3 Feb 2008, 3:55, 2 replies)

have you seen the bit in 'Reno 911'
where one of the female police officers meets a guy she likes, and instead of giving him her number says "just dial 911 and ask for me." Most amusing.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 3 Feb 2008, 7:02, closed)

apeloverage...
...one of our paramedics using a similiar line on the ladies - haven't seen Reno 911 though.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Sun 3 Feb 2008, 12:10, closed)