I am truly horrified that even two people in the world consider Russell Brand human enough to fuck.
Seriously - he has the hair of a shit Hallowe'en costume, the face of a New Deal starter, and the dress sense of a blind gay idiot. And, over the course of his career, he has come about as close to being funny as most anteaters have to Alpha Centauri B.

I mean, if you're going to make an exception for one guy with long hair and piercings, at least make it somebody clever, witty and handsome. *cough*

Hmmm. Alan Davies seems like a reasonable guess, as he's clearly a twat. Can't believe it's Bill Bailey. Jimmy Carr seems like the coke type, but I get the feeling he's actually quite nice. Phil Jupitus is an egocentric twat (I served him ice cream once), but if he was on coke he'd be thinner. Besides, he still lived in Essex last time I looked. Stephen Fry is lovely, and not a stand-up. Noel Fielding is a candidate - I can believe he's on coke, but I don't think he's a twat. I could still be wrong.

I reckon it's the guy who presents Buzzcocks.
(The Ghost of Stephen Foster, Mon 4 Feb 2008, 3:31, Reply)