Dared to Drink too much last Weekend in Prague
This pretty sums up the weekend

Airport at 5 - 5 pints
Flew at 7.45pm friday night - bottle of champers, 4 stella, and a vodka in 1h 55 on the plane
got to the hotel at ten to 11
was in prague main square for 11
ended up in some bar off my face.
got in at 4.30am satdy morning - ming
was up at 11.30 went to the river and the main square, went to a few shops and was back in the ale house for 2.30
died about 8 - got up at 11 - went back out
got in at 5am
flew at 3 -
eating chinese by 7
winner

However....

When in the bar on the Friday, I was under the influence and was forced to indulge in different concoctions

About 2am all of a sudden I had a sudden urge that I had to drop my guts, the pain appeared in seconds and I couldnt hold myself. So i ran down the stairs into the 1st door on the left (thinking it was the lads)

Fuck me sideways it was the birds bogs. Anyway I digress, I got my pants down and my guts emptied, with what I can only describe as DEATH. A pure brown Angel Delight mixture, no lumps, just pure shitty smoothness come out of my 70's tea towel holder.

I then noticed the door had no lock, so imagine me, half hanging over the bog, and some bird trying to get in, with me hanging on left handed to the door shouting in a high pitched voice (trying to pretend im a bird) "One second hun" "out in a sec"

The fucking door is now banging open and shut like a fucking poltergeist has hold of it, so I wipe my arse one handed pull up my pants and press the flusher.

PANICCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

The fucking thing wouldnt flush, it was broke, ive got a pile of shit that smells like horror and enough to make a fucking dining room table for a hamster if you microwaved it, and half of Pragues tarts trying to get in.

THEN IT HAPPENS.

The door flies open and im stood there faced with a fucking room full of girls. What does Hoogs do?

1) Walk out not giving a fuck cos he's arseholed.

2) Apologise and walk away.

Nope

I stood there and in the most campest fucking voice and dramatics went....

"OH MY GOD - JUST DONT COME IN HERE - SOMEONE HAS BEEN SICK EVERYWHERE"

Then legged it up the stairs at light speed, grabbed Mrs Hoogs and went to the other end of the bar.

Prague is fucking ace.
(hoogie Original Cunt Horse Author, Fri 2 Nov 2007, 12:55, Reply)