Surprise!Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver asks: Ever given granny a heart attack on her 90th birthday or knocked down the wall between the living room and kitchen by mistake before the wife gets home? Tell us tales of surprises and their fluffy and/or messy endings.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 12:10)
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What were you hoping for?Was at parents' house over holidays, a non-smoking environment. Couldn't sleep, so stepped out for a smoke on the back porch about one o'clock in the morning. Got a bit chilly so I decided to stand in the doorway to finish the butt.
Kids use the backyard as a shortcut and I see a couple guys walking into the yard as I stomp my ciggy just outside the door. They veer toward the back of the house, slow down, then sneak up on the porch. One walks up to the door - I recognize him as one of the neighbors from around the corner, about 14 years old maybe. As he reaches for the door - now just ajar - I flick on the porch light, open the door wide and yell in what I thought sounded like a combination of Salvador Dali and James Earl Jones, "What were you hoping for?!"
The next thing I saw was the kid jumping off the porch to my left while his buddy all but fell over the railing behind him. The only things missing from that home-breaking were cartoon noises for the would-be bandits' escape.
(, Sat 6 Apr 2013, 2:06, Reply)
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