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This is a question Tactless

As grandmasterfluffles puts it, "My ex once told me, "That's the best sex I've ever had... Well, apart from with my cousin..."
What's the most tactless thing you've heard? And was it you saying it?

(, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 22:40)
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Back in my sales office days...
I had to stand in for the delivery driver for a week while he was on holiday. One of our customers employed a girl called Lisa, who I used to speak to regularly on the phone. Our driver called her Fat Lisa and regaled us with stories of her gigantic fatosity every time he had to deliver an order to her.

So, while he was off I had to take some stuff there. I walked into the office, to see 5 or 6 desks, all populated by ladies of various ages and sizes. Quickly scanning, I pointed to the fattest one and said "You must be Lisa!"

She was indeed - luckily I stopped myself from saying "Shaun told me how to spot you" or similar, but I wondered for a long time if she realised why I knew it was her
(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:13, 20 replies)
the thing about fat people is that, despite being truly abhorrent to most people, they seem to still think they are attractive...
she probably thought this Shaun fancied her...

no offence, fatties
(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:21, closed)
This.
Dawn French my arse - you're a tubster - get down to nine stone, then we'll talk.
(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 12:54, closed)
unless you are 5 1/2 feet tall
(OR A 15 YEAR OLD GIRL)
then 9 stone would make you very underweight.
(, Thu 10 Nov 2011, 4:44, closed)
So she was 15 and you spunked on her boobs rather than get her pregnant?

(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 14:05, closed)
Hurrah...

(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 14:11, closed)
Surely you mean
haha :)
(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 16:57, closed)
no.
that's what a nonce would say. you're just trying to set him up here.
(, Thu 10 Nov 2011, 0:45, closed)
yeah btu how many times did you fuck your teenage stepdaughter?

(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 14:09, closed)
Duuuuuuuuude...

(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 14:12, closed)
Where's Gritty?
Am I doing it right this time?
(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 14:13, closed)
We'll find out when Australia wakes up.
*sits back and looks at clock*
(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:01, closed)
I would think so.
and on the surface it looks ok.
But you probably could work on your self-righteous indignation.
It is most effective if you just go balls-out over the top, the shower of misinformed self-righteous indignation that you will be rewarded with cannot be described by mere words.

bonus points if you can get someone to whine at you and inadvertently admit that they have no idea why.
(, Thu 10 Nov 2011, 0:41, closed)
What's her /talk username?

(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 14:25, closed)
My ex-wife is now a size 22
but thinks that she's hot because she's got huge tits.

No love, your tits are huge, just like the rest of you. Tits hanging down to your waist is not hot.
(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 16:31, closed)
But quite considerate, if you're a dwarf in need of titty action.

(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 16:38, closed)
I reckon it must add some insulation...
oh, 'hot', sorry, my bad.
(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 16:55, closed)
A rule that has always served me well.....Nice on the phone, add 4 stone
has nothing to do with the op, but kind of does?
(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 16:42, closed)
yeah?
well, I'm a cunt on the phone, how much do I weigh?
(, Thu 10 Nov 2011, 0:50, closed)
The rule is
Qualities you can hope to get
1. good looking
2. nice personality
3. prosperous

If you are lucky you might get two. You have to delude yourself about the rest.
(, Thu 10 Nov 2011, 1:22, closed)
the other eleventy million times I read that joke it was:
1. good looking
2. nice personality
3.sane
(, Thu 10 Nov 2011, 4:23, closed)

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