A friend of mine
who is a building official oversees a bunch of building inspectors. He tells many stories of barely literate contractors who try to cut corners on construction and then squall when they're called on it. (Building codes exist for a reason- mainly so the thing won't collapse on someone in the first wind storm.)

One of his inspectors got a call from an irate contractor who he had just failed, and the contractor was so bumble lipped that the inspector could barely understand him. After about thirty seconds of listening to the guy babble, the inspector said, "Call me back when you get the cock out of your mouth" and hung up the phone.

He was the hero of the office for the week.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 9 Nov 2011, 13:00, Reply)