The 3-Litre-3-Way Bong
Too many years ago, I was having a quiet Saturday afternoon at home, and left on my own, was becoming a bit jittery with the prospect of my own company and nothing to do. So, I set about upgrading the house bong into a new one.

Soft drinks companies had been putting out 3-litre plastic bottles for which to hold their fizzy-sticky-goodness. We had a number of these around for two purposes. The car radiator leaked, so we carried a few full of water for emergency top up. They also served well for impromptu piss stops on long car journeys AND then topping up the radiator - a smell I now have no wish to recreate.

Anyway, the 3 litre bottle was going to form the water chamber. To ensure that the chamber would remain up-upright. At some time previous, my mother bought me a brass kettle that stood on a brass tripod with a very wide circular top (wtf?). Anyway, discard one kettle, upturn kettle base, duct tape a 3 litre coke bottle between the upturned legs and we have business.

Next I needed a way of getting smoke into the water. Perfect for this was a car-hydraulic-brake-bleeding kit, that had masses of clear plastic pipe with a centre-hole about 6mm across. Inserted into one end was a metal pipe, fitted into the plastic pipe. The idea was that spliffs could be inserted directly into the metal bit, and a strategically placed empty tin of quality street would catch any fallout.

Next I needed some sort of inhalation method. This was sorted by making small holes in the coke bottle top, and feeding 3 brake cable outers (that I had planned to put on the vespa) into the holes.

The result was a centre piece in the middle of the room, that could be accessed from any chair in the house, by three people simultaneously, although it did require someone to constantly keep the business end well stoked.

Just as I had completed this marvel and was about to give it trial run, there was a knock on the door. I opened the door, and there was someone I'd never met.

He: Hello, you must be Piper, x's brother?
Me: Yes
He: I'm y, a mate of your brothers. I have a small pharmacy and a bucket of 20/20 with me
Me: Hello y, heard a lot about you. I have a 3 litre bong and a house full of herbal. Come on in.


And so started a lifelong friendship with one of the craziest dudes I know.

Length: Dunno, but easily a 5 foot radius.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 9:40, Reply)