Sod it, a stepfather story.
"oi, come downstairs!"

My brother and I dutifully come down.

"Right. I've brought some milk. You're not allowed to touch it."

*he spits in it*

"Now you've seen that, don't touch the milk."

This seems fairly reasonable in some screwed up way until you realise:
1. My father's maintaince money most likely paid for that milk.
2. We hadn't had a supermarket visit for over a month because my mother couldn't afford it, so I was to the stage of using my babysitting money to buy food.

He also liked hiding away stashes of "his" toilet roll as well, hiding yoghurts and fruit in "his" cupoard with a lock on, which then stunk the house out, yelling at us for hours if something was misplaced and start calling me a fat cow if any food went "missing".

His lack of a job for well... ten years and his coke habit managed to put my financially stable mother in 12k of debt. My mother was constantly reminded she was overweight, and thus then became anorexic and would live off glucose tablets and she'd often faint at work. He had constant affairs and, as it emerged in court, slept with 15 year old girls when they didn't have the money to pay for their drugs. My parents would still argue from time to time and every time it would happen, he would come into my room and blame me for "making my mother cry". I was constantly reminded how still being in education was "draining" my mother and making her stressed because I couldn't contribute lots of money towards rent and bills.

He was, and still is, a fuckhead.

My mother moved away from him back to London. I'm still too scared to go back to the town where I grew up in case I see him.

My father's partner refuses to have anything to do with us, so he didn't take us in, despite many pleas. I asked for boarding school, a loan to help live alone, anything. Well, I did in my head. I was too terrified to actually do it, apart from drop hints like there'd been no food in the cupboards for over a week...

Sorry for the lack of humour. No wait, I can do a funny story:

My stepfather had a few anecdotes about his 8 years in prison (the only person I know ever to serve the entirety of his sentence due to plain stupidity).

He was in Ford, a somewhat well known open prison. A few months before release. So what does he do? Drive out. On a lawnmower. Very slowly.

He got a few miles down the road before they noticed, and they decided to call his mother.
"Have you seen your son?"
"Well, no... he's in prison."
"weell.. see... we don't know where he is"

They found him about an hour later. He served another 2 years iirc, and went back to a non-open prison. Silly cunt.

It still makes me giggle thinking of him driving off at 2 miles an hour, big grin on his face and with no fucking clue what he was doing it for.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 15:38, Reply)