Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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My Dad...Once found a grammatical error in one of my homework essays.
He said 'no more sweets' and confiscated my game boy.
He then pinned me down using an articulated lorry (carrying JCB diggers), poured liquid nitrogen over my genitals, slowly amputated all of my limbs using a blunt lavatory seat, then skewered a fluorescent tube up my clay-hole before removing my swede using a small grey and white gerbil.
He then created a rift in the space-time continuum so he could go back in time and repeat the performance over and over again.
It’s the only language I understand apparently.
(Sorry for joining in with the previous piss-taking posts. I do take this QOTW seriously…I’m just bored, that’s all)
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 22 Aug 2007, 13:41,
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