Parents say the craziest things.
My dad used to be a massive conspiracy nut. He still is, to some extent, and is a regular visitor to the David Icke website. A couple of years ago we were all going on holiday, and my Dad brought along several copies of the Scientific Inquirer to read on the plane.

Halfway into the flight, he starts describing some of the stories in the magazines to me and my step-brother. Mostly standard conspiracy fare, except for one he mentioned, which was all about sugar companies exporting 'refined sugar' instead of the regular kind. Apparently refined sugar is poisonous, and according to my dad "the Sugar Barons are making millions" selling us this refined stuff.

Curious, my step-brother and myself questioned him on a few points, like what these 'Sugar Barons' would stand to gain from poisoning their customers, and how they could be 'making millions' when refining the sugar would surely be more costly than leaving it as it is. Eventually my dad snapped under our questions and had a strop. He then locked the magazine in question in his case, and refused to let us read the article because "you just want to use it to take the piss out of me." Madness.

And the craziness doesn't stop on the other side of my family either. Only last night I was discussing ghosts with my mum. I was good-naturedly poking fun at her ideas about them when she turned to me and said "You don't have to have seen things to believe in them. You've never seen Neptune or Jupiter, but you still believe they exist, don't you?"

"Well no, but then I've seen pictures of them taken with powerful telescopes." I replied.

"Yeah, but you've still never seen them yourself."

"What are you saying?" I asked, "That Neptune is a myth and all the world's astronomers are part of a giant scam to convince us that it's really there? Sounds like you've invented a new conspiracy theory to me."

So there we have it. My parents are nutters. Either that, or they both just talk without thinking, which is quite believable in my opinion.
(Uncle Comrade, Mon 31 Aug 2009, 18:44, 5 replies)

Sounds like
too much LDS in the sixties!
(dchurch bah, Mon 31 Aug 2009, 20:37, closed)

Yeah, being a Mormon will do that to you.

(razakel, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 3:16, closed)

This is bloody GREAT!!!
Cheers
( SpankyHanky, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 13:39, closed)

oh fuck i am a nutter
'Fraid to say I'm totally with your Dad on that one.

Refined sugar is to sugar cane what cocaine is to the coca plant. Refined sugar tastes sweeter and lasts longer. However, by then it is no longer a food, it's a chemical. While not STRICTLY speaking a 'poison' it is in fact indigestible without your body requisitioning nutrients from other food that you have eaten. More like a parasite.

That's why there is no sell by date on the packet.

And it is added to almost everything we eat, like bread, baby food and gravy.

As any drug-user can tell you, you get high, then you get low. Then you feel tired. Then you crave more. Sound familiar? And if you hear someone say 'but it's only sugar....' then you can be cartain they will increasingly sound like a complete addicted apologist in denial.

Ask a parent about the 'smarties effect' or how 45% of frosties are sugar and then wonder about how these kids grow up and go binge drinking on Bacardi Breezers (Bacardi = rum = cheap sugar alcohol).

In terms of conspiracy theories, the sugar industry has long been hidden in plain sight. We all eat sugar because the sugar industry has a lot of it to sell, and it cares not about diabetes, obesity, tooth decay or bizarre food allergies.

I could go on, but I haven't got you cornered in a pub.
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 21:00, closed)

You raise a valid point.
Everything you've said there is perfectly plausable. Sadly my dad has never been one for cogent debate and his explanation mostly consisted of repeated ramblings about 'poison' and 'the Sugar Barons' and getting wound up when we asked him for more details.
(Uncle Comrade, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 21:44, closed)