Doing the business
Years ago I worked at a Brewery, who used to run tours that ended in the on-site pub, where there was food laid on and of course an open bar. All sorts of people came on the tours, but the worst drunken antics belonged to a group of suited business men, one of whom not only managed to crap on the toilet floor, but smear it everywhere.

The mess was so bad that all of the cleaners refused to clear it up, so the job fell to the Managing Director of the cleaning company, a man in his 60s who had probably never cleaned anything in his life before. Ironically he cleaned up wearing his suit...


Another one: party, my house a few years ago, a friend had drunk a lot of everything and after downing neat vodka vanished upstairs to lighten the load. So he sat on the toilet, pants round his ankles, and threw up into them, panicking he stood up opening his legs, spraying his puke everywhere. First I knew about this was when another friend thrust his hand under my nose, telling me that someone had been sick in my bathroom, and he opened his hand to show the stomach contents he'd scrapped off the floor. As if I needed proof!
(Julian Coped, Mon 5 Sep 2005, 1:16, Reply)