I once heckled a tramp.
Bad move.


I was at the Edinburgh festival and with a mate (trying to chat-up some girlie actress-types from London).

We walked past a hairy inebriated trampy man who was berating passer-bys for partaking in the sins of modern life.

Quite wisely, everyone was sticking to procedure - ignore him... no eye contact etc.

...that was until Mr Wiseguy here tried to impress his girly with a witty retort.

TRAMP: Blah blah YOU THERE! You think you've got it all, blaaargh... but I've got it right... I don't neeeeeeed a bloody television...

ME: Just as well - where would you plug it in?


I was cool for a full 3 seconds before he launched himself at me, making a noise like a bull being branded.

Being a tough guy, I shrieked like a startled schoolgirl and ran with my wrists flapping at my sides. *

* It turns out, that this isn't what foxy London actress types are looking for in a man.


( Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:24, Reply)