Homeless Profiling
This tale lacks any sort of funny and is just more just a profile of homeless types.

I'm assuming most of you know what the UK homeless are like, often smelly, many fallen on hard times, alcohol, but quite often you can see they're in need of some food, water and maybe even a little small change if they seem the slightly more trustworthy type of hobo. It is very rarely that I see a homeless guy or girl and think "she's just lazy".

Very rarely, that was, until I went to Montpellier last week. I have never seen such a collection of lazy 'bohemian' bastards in my entire life. Now, there are those that are obviously addicts to some substance or other (how you can get off your tits on anything in that heat I just don't know, there's no motivation to when you make squelching noises everytime you try to peel yourself out of bed), but there are also those that no doubt spend all the cash you give them on weed and baggy trousers; someone needs to teach them the difference between bohemian and parasite.

There was one on the street regularly pestering me and the lady friend as we went by for a few euro each time. What put me off giving the cash to him in particular, even worse than the rest? The two sticks of incense burning next to him. There are people who are generally down and out and you have tossers like this taking the money that they otherwise may get and spending it on incense. One packet of incense costs the same as a litre bottle of water.

Fucking hippies.

(Aside from that, Montpellier, Sete, Nimes and Avignon are lovely cities, hell, the whole Languedoc Rousillon region is, and if you're strapped for cash you can always eat in the kebab shops that litter the region - South of France, not just for rich types!)


Tale 2: The fat little shit.
They start them young in Montpellier. Maybe it was the summer holidays or such, I don't really know the French school time table, but there was this around 13 or so years old Algerian kid - see the title - who would pester people on the street for "dix cents!". There was no reason that could be seen for this tosser to be on the streets hanging round the train station and nearby tramstop, he was well clothed, evidently very well fed, he was just an all round little shit. The thing that tops it off is when there's some lady walking through the train station eating a baguette and the kid adopts puppy eyes and points to his mouth whining, did I mention this kid was fat? She hit him.
(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 15:17, Reply)