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This is a question Twat Friends

BraynDedd tugs our sleeve and asks: "You know the one, the mate who is guaranteed to ruin every social situation by being an embarrassment/sexist/racist/bellend etc. Tell us about your twattiest mate."

(, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:50)
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Keezie
more a friend of a friend, keezie was someone who sort of attached herself to our little group when we were teenagers. she was always the one who never had any smokes, unless you told her you didn't either, then she'd miraculously find some. she'd bum drinks off us, then start arguments with strangers after a few swigs. she'd make up stories to try to cause trouble between the rest of us, then cry when confronted and deny it. i couldn't stand the little fucker, but she'd been a friend of michelle's(one of my good friends) since infant school, so we put up with her.
one night, i was already pissed off with her after she pulled the "hot finger" trick* and wasn't too keen on spending any more time with her, when all of a sudden, she let out a yell and ran around the corner. curious, we went after her to see what was wrong with her.
"that bloke round there! he tried to molest me in the park!" she sobbed, or words to that effect. infuriated by this, we confronted the man, who was completely stunned to hear these allegations. michelle was all set to call the police, when we heard keezie laughing her arse off.
seems it was all a lie and she'd only said it because she thought it'd be funny. stupid, malicious little bitch.
we apologized to the poor man and left keezie on her own. we never hung around with her again and i found out later that michelle had given her an arse-kicking for that little stunt.
i dread to think what that man could have been put through if she'd kept up with her lies.


* when you've been saved half a ciggy by someone who holds it tightly as you try to take it, so your fingers slide down to the end and get burnt.
(, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:44, 4 replies)
Which part?

(, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 15:42, closed)
which part of what?

(, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 15:46, closed)
which part was she assaulted in?
emvee has a vested interest as he's got a boba fett figurine that needs parking somewhere.
(, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 16:06, closed)
bugger, that's meant to say park
*edits*
(, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 16:09, closed)
You should leave it as is.
It's hilarious, that way.
(, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 16:19, closed)
In the men's toilet there was a drawing of a woman's part. It was quite detailed. He obviously had talent.

(, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 20:12, closed)
Alright, Miranda.

(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 10:30, closed)

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