Much as it pains me to agree with this ghastly knobcheese, I'm afraid your mate sounds like an even worse one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 16:40, 1 reply)

Why don't you two just have a lemon party and get it over with

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:09, closed)

I've got no problem with fart jokes.
farting is funny, no doubt about it.

But the bit about doing it on your head - in the very unlikely event it's actually true, if someone did it to me I'd break their arm.

Still, that's just me.
(username failed moderation, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:55, closed)

sure you would
I myself often rupture the spleen with a driving knee thrust of people who bump into me with their trolleys while queueing at the supermarket, then spit on them as the paramedics take them away.
Have we established what internet hard men we are?
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:47, closed)

Well,
that was unexpected.

You have all the originality of Dave's evening program schedule.
(username failed moderation, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 8:54, closed)

I'm sorry, don't break my arm, please

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:32, closed)