Not many people know this
But I do a nice little sideline in writing greetings card messages for the European market. I specialise in cock-related gags, which seem to go down a storm over there with our smellier, greasier cousins.

Just yesterday my German agent rang me up and gave me a bollocking for going out and sitting in a beer garden all day instead of sitting on my arse at home, coming up with some new piece of crap to put in a card.

You see...

Hun expected new ditty.
( SpankyHanky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:44, 3 replies)

My grandfather
Fought in a war so that you wouldn't have to make puns that bad.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:46, closed)

Bad Spanky
it's a story not a play on words,

fucking clever though ;-)
(d347hm4n Fraggin your ass!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:46, closed)

This is great...

And strangely inspiring for a Monday.

*clicks in thanks*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:28, closed)