I just can't learn things...
I have a banjo.

I have a nice digital camera, couple of lenses, gert big flash and a Flickr acount.

I have a set of golf clubs.

I may also have a trumpet.

I think I have a violin somewhere.

I've downloaded the Python runtime.

I've spent hours installing and configuring Sharepoint on my work laptop.

I used to have a motorbike.

I've downloaded some sort of open source 3D modelling program.

All these things I was going to be awesome at. I even deliberately picked stuff that you only have to be mediocre at to be better than everyone else. I mean really, how many people do you actually know who play the Banjo? All I needed to do was learn how to knock out 1 tune.

So many potential pastimes. So many things I was going to learn and, dare I say master. Well, maybe not master, but at least become competent at. And what am I actually good at? None of them. The banjo lives in a box in the spare room. The camera doesn't even come out of the house, since I'm all self conscious about looking like a twat. The violin, the trumpet, Sharepoint, the Flickr account - All of them fell by the wayside. I just can't stick to anything for longer than a couple of weeks. It's shameful.

At the moment the golf clubs live in the boot of the car, though, and even get regularly used. Who knows how long that'll last, and what harebrained plan I'll come up with next?

Sorry. Not very funny, but I discovered many moons ago that I also never really got the hang of storytelling.
(Benjimawoo, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 20:31, 18 replies)

learning the violin is hard
trust me on this
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 20:51, closed)

But the payoff can be so good...
Any wanker can pull out a guitar half pissed at a party and knock out a passable rendition of 'Hey Mona', but how many people are cool enough to break out a fiddle and start playing the theme tune to The Riddlers?
(Benjimawoo, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 20:56, closed)

little brown jug
that's about my limit on the violin :(
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 0:04, closed)

I think you missed the point.
Pulling off a half pissed rendition of Hey Mona is still reasonably cool on a guitar. You are a wandering troubadour, bringing music to people . . .

When you break out a banjo, people just think of Ned Beatty getting arse raped.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 8:35, closed)

What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?
Nobody cries when you cut up a banjo.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 20:53, closed)

Listen to...
Hayseed Dixie's cover of The Ace of Spades and say that.
(Benjimawoo, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 21:00, closed)

I love Hayseed Dixie
I just never got on with the banjo as an instrument. Guitars, however,are a passion of mine.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:52, closed)

Looking like a twat.
I ceased being self conscious about looking like a twat when I realized that (1) no-one cared and (2) I _was_ a twat.
(uncle_bud is not the jelly roll king., Mon 28 Jun 2010, 21:45, closed)

I have a very split brain
On the one hand there's a very logical part of me that thinks 'of course nobody's going to think you're a twat' and then there's the dark little elfin brain that thinks - as I'm contorting myself round some city centre 'sculpture' trying to get the light vie been waiting all day for to catch the edge just right to highlight the lines of the thing - 'you look like a twat.'
(Benjimawoo, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 22:16, closed)

Looking like a twat (2).
Meh, just do it.
The very worst thing is someone will think enough of your camera to steal it off you.
The second worst is people asking you what you're taking photos of (normally when there's a mass of emptiness and one object sitting in the middle, with your camera pointing at it).
( evilstevie misses the Orange Place of late, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 21:51, closed)

And, of course, we live in paranoid times
... Those kind of paranoid times where we (or at least I) are petrified of accidentally getting someone in frame lest they get all indignant about it.

Or maybe just I live in paranoid times...
(Benjimawoo, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 22:18, closed)

As Homer Simpson said to Bart...
... when he gave up karate:

'You've tried, and you've failed. The lesson is, don't try.'
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 22:13, closed)

Which is why...
None of this stuff has gone up on EBay. I always swear 'Yes. I will pick that banjo up again. I will get proper lessons from a proper person and I will practice until I can both play and sing My Darling Clementine'.

Admitting that I'm not going to do any of those things is am admission of defeat... Bah. I'm going to get the banjo back out again tomorrow, aren't I.
(Benjimawoo, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 22:22, closed)

Maybe that's best...
...pursue them one at a time rather than all at once. Sounds like the golf's going OK at least!
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 22:34, closed)

camera
Photo a day, no excuses. Use it like that, and you should work towards awesome quickly enough.
(MattWPBS, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 0:49, closed)

Just do it man...
Find something you're really interested in and just stick at it, you'll surprise yourslf. Find friends, teachers, video and Internet/book sources and spend half an hour or so every day and I guarantee you you'll see results in whatever you wantto do in matter of a few weeks. I've learned 400 foreign words this months with flascards. Practise makes perfect...
( Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 1:20, closed)

Mate...
Learn the banjo. Its loads of fun. If you type 'frailing banjo' into youtube, there's a guy called Patrick Costello who will take you from 'what is this item with strings on?' to full-on wailing. It may take some time to get the knack of it, but its worth it.
(Gertcha_cowson NAH MATE, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 12:49, closed)

I know of Patrick Costello...
I've watched many a video of his yes-he does go all the way from start to finish. It's marvellous stuff, some could even argue it's what the Internet was invented for (knowledge sharing, that is).
(Benjimawoo, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:43, closed)