fifteen years old
Being somewhat of a drinker back then, I had a reputation for being able to put away a lot of alcohol with very little effect. I was round a friends house, when some bright spark fuck had the cracking idea, "lets get him drunk!"

Over the course of the evening I managed to put away eight cans of lager, half a litre of neat gin, half a bottle of whiskey, a scary amount of vodka, and a bottle of Tia Maria.

Apparently I was out of it.

I don't remmeber much, but I did see the aftermath the next morning when I came to. The lounge chair which I had fallen asleep on was saturated in vomit, The bath was absolutely plastered with a brown liquidy mess, the stereo was also covered in vomit, and the carpet by my estimation had a three feet wide pool of brown sludge in the centre. There was also a distinct smell of coffee. It seems that one of my mates while I was lying there, losing my guts seems to have remembered the red dwarf episode where they feed a rather drunk lister a LOT of raw coffee. So while I was just lying there in a state of semi paralysis he retrieved the Nescafe from the kitchen, and proceeded to spoon feed me. Apparently when the next liquidy deluge came from my mouth, it was in the form of a strange black syrup which had managed to become entwined with a rather nice white fur rug they had.
My mate told me at a later point in time, that the repairs to the damage at the house cost just over £1500.

I still can't face gin.
( Muns, Fri 20 Aug 2004, 8:07, Reply)