Starts off relatively normal...
Wednesday December 19th 2003. Work Christmas party. Started off really nice, a fantastic (if expensive) meal in The Living Room on Deansgate in Manchester.

Going really well, chatting to people at work, having a laugh, getting a little bit merry. So we trundled to The Moon Under Water pub a couple of doors down. I alternated between vodka and coke, and Southern Comfort and lemonade. Unfortunately, against the advice of my colleagues, I paid several too many trips to the bar. At approximately 8PM (I think) my colleagues noticed I'd been missing for about half an hour. So a couple of them trundle up to the toilets to see if I was there. Sure enough, there I was, face in a toilet, chundering all over the place, the floor, the toilet seat, absofuckinglutely every which way.

So I was dragged downstairs, and thrown in a taxi. I puked in the taxi and had to pay the poor bastard taxi driver a cleaning surcharge (which is fair enough, I gave him a fucking big tip too). Sounds like a kind-of-average get pissed story.

What makes the story most interesting is the fact that I stumbled into the kitchen, and managed to puke upon the door frame. My poor wife and son came home to find a vomit stained carpet and door frame, and I had actually managed to STRIP THE PAINT OFF THE DOOR FRAME with my evidently radioactive stomach soup.

Of course I was incredibly ashamed, and I haven't touched a single drop of alcohol since. Not even at Christmas, any celebration or even in any food. 8 months teetotal and I have never ever felt even a remote desire to consume anything with alcohol in it.

Lovely.

Mike "turpentine" Thorpe

Edit: I was also out shopping with my wife and she was sick right in front of a shoe shop, no warning, just spattered everywhere. She was geniunely ill though.

Oh, and before I met my wife, I was violently ill at the Student night at The Ritz in Manchester. The girl who helped me into the toilet, who I'd only just met that night, later on ended up being my girlfriend. Obviouls y a vomit fetish. :-/
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Fri 20 Aug 2004, 9:21, Reply)