A pint of milk - big mistake.
One Sunday, after a very big night on the booze I was supposed to get up with the rest of the family and go for a lovely pub lunch in the countryside.

My stomach had other ideas after my attempts to rejoin the world of the well. I decided as I was very thirsty from my hangover that a nice cold glass of milk would be just the ticket to feeling better again. It went down a treat so I had another and finished a pint. That done I went back to bed intending to let the milk do it's best and get up just in time for the pub lunch. As it turns out, when you drink milk it turns into curds and whey in your stomach and is then duly broken down further. One effect of this transformation is a doubling in volume and I had downed a pint. The next thing I know I'm heaving two pints of the most rancid and almost solid creamy white matter. The pain when trying to actually retch up this stuff was unbeleivable.

The 'whey' was basically feta-brine and stomach acid. The 'curds' were a strange semi-solid yet foamy substance not unlike cottage cheese but with MUCH larger pieces.

It would hardly flush as the curds were floating.

Even though I sicked everything into the bowl without spillages the entire bathroom smelled of an unclean dairy on a hot day. For the next two days all I could taste was stomach acid and rancid dairy.

I didn't make it to lunch.
( TheFinch is getting to grips with the complex plane on, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 9:10, Reply)