Amsterdam. 2005.
February 2005 to be no too precise. My ex missus and I had made our way round some of the High and low lights of the 'Dam and I decided that we should settle for a little while, have a beer and a spliff. I'd done my research and hit Grey Area for a couple of grams of Greyberry, their award winning Blueberry variant... After a couple of small glasses of beer the masterpiece was ready. Seeing as I have a pathological hatred for tobacco, a couple of tokes on the blunt that followed knocked both of us right on our arses - in this case experience didn't prepare either of us for what happened.

About 30 seconds afterwards, the toilet door, which opened directly to the room, burst open and the inhabitant rushed out of the bar, grabbing her male and female companions on the way...

... and another minute after that the smell had overtaken the whole bar.

Now the bar manager was seriously pissed. He'd been chatting to all the brits in a pseudo cockney/dutch accent and he goes into the toilet swearing at the top of his voice in dutch. In and out swearing away, staring at everyone nearby until he fixes on my ex missus. At this point we were both paranoid as fuck, hanging onto the table we were sat at for dear life because the room would NOT stop spinning. Oh no...

So the manager's spitting teeth at everyone, pointing but not directly accusing her. This goes on for what seems like a couple of days but in reality is probably about 2 minutes. Until some brave dutch chap point out to the guy that it wasn't my ex, but some bird who ran the fuck out of there as soon as she'd committed herself to god via his convenient telephone.

The manager cam over to us, apologised loudly in his best mockney and offered us a jug of Amstel by way of consolation... Wide eyed we accepted his generosity and soon polished it off... which didn't really help the paranoia that we'd built up, or the escape a few minutes later.

I've never been quite so off my tits in public and I will never, ever, forget the stench of vomit any time I get wasted. And she never touched the weed thereafter, good girl :0)
(hengushrh is found at the Dole office every second thursday, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 23:19, Reply)