Management genius
An Anglo-Dutch haulage firm I used to work for way back had an unwelcome change in regieme when their resident "axe man" was put in charge of the UK operation. We were a mixed bunch of English, Dutch, German and Swedish folk who all got on quite merrily until Georg turned up.

First day in he greets the German, the Dutch guys and the Swede but snarls at the English staff.

Second day in he decides out IT overheads are too high and in conversation withour (female) IT manager suggests that "women aren't intelligent enough to operate computers".

On the third day he berates the office manager who had the audacity to go home at 6pm to his wife (and also the intended recipient of some cost cuts) and suggests "you ought to invest in a whore instead. Then you'll have more time to work!".

Georg was in full swing by now. Quite how he survived three days without being beaten the shite out of was a mystery, however all that was set to change when a driver was summoned to a meeting. Said driver was a man of the highest integrity and took great offence at being called a "stupid truck driver" and promptly expressed his desire to punch Georg's lights out. Georg wasn't used to people not being scared of him and was somewhat anxious to discuss favourable terms, only to change his mind after the driver left the office.

Georg then excelled himself in negotiations with our biggest client; a certain well known automotive company with the letter "F" in it's name. We were the lowest bidder for the business by quite some margin, which Georg attributed to his ability to factor in the fuel economy of our fleet of Scanias. We won the bid but quickly discovered the secret to Georg's genuis. Turned out he'd based his calculations on our trucks being able to average no less than 30mph en route to Dagenham engine plant, but failed to note the collections were timed at 8am and 5pm respectively on weekdays.

We made a loss on ever collection we made and it took months for the truth to come out. Much cheering greeted the news that Georg had been summoned to head office in Holland and handed his P45.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 25 Apr 2007, 13:46, Reply)